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Domming someone remotely isn’t easy. Sometimes you just can’t think of any new ideas of what to text them.
This list should help you out. I’ve tried all of these messages and had great results.
Before you dominate your girl via text I must preface this article by saying you will only get a positive reaction if the person you are sending them to has AGREED to a D/s dynamic with you.
Do NOT send these to a woman you’ve been on one date with and think she might be into it. It’s the fastest way to be blocked and potentially have a sexual harassment case brought against you!
Dom and sub dynamics only work once consent has been given. Within a Dom/sub arrangement, a text message which prior to would be considered sleazy, rude, creepy, pushy, aggressive and misogynistic can become sexy, enticing, arousing, dominant and a huge turn on after consent; when your sub trusts you and knows you have both of your best interests at heart. Read up on how to be a good Dom if you are unsure what I mean.
Oh, and dominant commands are slightly different than submissive rules. Learn more in my Submissive Rules: A Complete Guide to Setting Rules for Subs (with Examples) article.
Disclaimers out of the way, let’s get stuck into seven dominant commands you can send your sub woman over text.
1. Write a note and put it in your panties
Morning, Kitten. Grab a small, square piece of paper and a pen. Daddy’s got a job for you. Write “I am always a good girl for my Daddy” on the paper, fold it up, and wear it in your panties today for me. Don’t remove it until I text you later.
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Change the language to suit your dom sub dynamic, but the principle stays the same. I love this one because it encompasses many different aspects of submission.
Firstly, you are making her write an affirmation – “I am always a good girl for my Daddy”, or something that highlights her submissiveness to you. Decide if you want to help her grow (use a positive affirmation) or want to turn her on (use a sexual affirmation).
Need some ideas on what to get her to write? Here are a few:
- I’m a good pet for my Master
- I’m a good little slut
- I’ve been a bad girl and deserve to be punished (this is a great one if you have a sub who loves being disciplined and are seeing her later that day to dish it out. Make her wear the paper as a reminder of what’s coming)
- I will suck my Master’s cock for twenty minutes whilst he watches TV
- I am an obedient servant to my Master
Secondly, she is having to write the text out. If she identifies as a little she’ll love this task, and may even slip into littlespace as she decides what colour pen to use.
2. Wear a butt plug shopping
You need more anal training to serve me better. Wear a butt plug whilst grocery shopping today. Text to a photo to prove you are wearing it.
Wearing a butt plug at home or in public is taboo, which makes it incredibly hot. As your sub walks around she’ll constantly have that feeling of fullness, reminding her how wonderful it’s going to feel when you take her. It’s also a great way to train your sub for anal sex.
I recommend buying a set of training butt plugs and start with the smallest one. Don’t command her to shove in the biggest right away. Ease her into it.
I also recommend butt plugs with t-shaped bases, not round. They are designed for comfort and to be worn for longer periods of time.
Anal training takes a while, but it’ll be worth it, I promise.
3. Make her drink her water
I want you to drink 5 tall glasses of water by 6pm today. Send me a photo of you refilling the glass each time.
“Water!? That’s not sexy” I hear you cry.
Not all dom sub interactions need to be sexual you know. As a Dom, you might also like to use your persuasive powers for good. You could help her be more healthy by eating more vegetables, ban her from sugary drinks, or make her go to the gym three times a week.
Caution: Because these are non-sexual tasks she may be a bit startled if you text her this out of the blue. Only text something like this if you know she enjoys a non-sexual D/s dynamic, and you’ve discussed your boundaries together.
4. Make her wear your favourite outfit
When you meet me tonight for dinner I want you to be wearing the black tattoo choker you know I like, your red, short skirt, and a black long-sleeved poloneck tucked in to it. No panties in case I need easy access to you.
You’re meeting her for date night. Why not spice up the evening by requesting she wears the outfit she looks hottest in to you. She won’t need to stress about what to wear to look nice for you (some subs find making decisions very stressful so make it easy for her), she’ll be turned on by dressing up for you, and you’ll enjoy how gorgeous she looks.
Sparks will fly.
5. Choose her clothes for the day
Send me photos of three tops you like. I’ll pick which one you wear today.
Similar to choosing her full outift but slightly easier. You’re a bloke, you may not have been paying much attention to all the clothes she owns. This is a way to dom her remotely without knowing the inner workings of her wardrobe. She narrows down the choices, but you have the final say.
Make sure the top you choose is practical for the plans she has that day. In other words, don’t make her wear a top that puts her boobs out there for everyone to see if she’s going for a family lunch.
6. Orgasm denial
Starting today, and for this entire week, your orgasms belong to me. No coming without asking me if you can play with yourself first. Understand, little girl?
Denying her orgasms is a form of punishment. If she plays with herself regularly this’ll be tricky for her! The benefit of doing this is that when you do finally meet up, she’ll take out all her pent up sexual frustration on you and you’ll have amazing sex and she’ll come extra hard (read about giving her more intense orgasms).
One of the hottest things a sub has said to me: “Daddy, I’ve got something to tell you. I couldn’t help play with myself yesterday. I got too squirmy thinking about you.” Naturally I gave her several hard spanks for her lack of discipline (she asked me to in fact!) but her owning up was so sweet yet sexual it was a massive turn on.
7. Kneeling, mouth open selfie
Get on your knees and take a photo of yourself looking up at the camera, mouth open, tongue out. I want to imagine what I’ll be fucking later. You have two hours.
Send this at a random time of the day for maximum effect. She’ll be whisked out of the everyday and plunged into submissive mode. And the time limit amps up the pressure to serve you. If she’s at work she’ll have to sneak off to the bathroom to snap a pic, and if she’s home alone you may even get a naked selfie back.
You can make her send you a photo of whatever position you want, but make it a practical one that is achievable.
More examples of dominant text messages?
So there you have it. Sending dominant text messages commanding your sub is a lot of fun, and can keep the spice alive in a D/s relationship when you can’t be together.
There are hundreds of messages you could send, and I’m sure you’ve got some great ones, dear reader. So leave me a comment below with the hottest command you’re sent as a Dom or received as a sub.
Psst: I’ve written a whole other article with some more kinky, dirty text messages you can send your sub. Go check it out.