BDSM Collars & Collaring

What is collaring?

Collaring is when the Dominant in a BDSM dynamic chooses to give his or her submissive a collar and ask them to wear it to symbolise the power dynamic at play.

The collar acts as a reminder to the submissive that they are ‘owned’ by the Dominant, or in some way subservient to him or her. The act of wearing a collar can help a submissive enter their Submissive Mindset, and access that state of submission more easily.

Do submissives wear collars all the time?

No. When, where, and for how long a submissive wears a BDSM collar (if at all) completely depends on the type of power play dynamic the couple have.

In my dynamic, my submissive generally only wears a collar if we are going to a kinky event or play party, or we a doing a higher protocol scene at home.

It is rare for a couple to have a dynamic where the submissive wears their collar 24/7, but it isn’t unheard of. Sometimes they may choose to use another item to represent the collar which is less formal, such as a necklace, ankle bracelet, wrist bracelet, or ring. These items are easier to wear continuously and remain discreet in public.

What types of BDSM collars are there?

There are plenty of BDSM collars to choose from!

Go into any sex shop and you’ll find a wide variety. Etsy is also a fantastic place to pick one up.

If you’d like to see the 3 different types of BDSM collars I use with my sub, then read this article: Three Types of BDSM Collar I Own and Their Uses.

Here are some of the types of collar you may find

There’s no one best type of BDSM collar. Choose whatever suits your power play dynamic best, that your partner enjoys wearing, and that turns you both on.

You may also use different collars in different sitiations. For example, when performing duties around the house the submissive might wear a chunky leather or metal collar. When out in public the sub could wear a standard choker or piece of jewellery such as an O-ring to symbolise her submission. And if you are in to pet play then the sub might wear a dog collar or a collar with a leash.

What is a collaring ceremony?

A collaring ceremony is where the Dominant presents the collar to a submissive as a reward for being a good submissive and meeting the expectations of the Dominant. Before this stage the submissive is uncollared – they haven’t been presented with the collar and aren’t officially the Dominant’s submissive.

Not all D/s relationships have a collaring ceremony. My sub and I didn’t. We use BDSM collars more of a spur-of-the-moment thing when we want to spice things up. Personally, I prefer this approach to a formal way of acknowledging that the submissive belongs to the Dominant.

You don’t have to have a collaring ceremony. A Master and slave would typically be the ones conducting formal ceremonies, rather than less high protocol styles of Dom/sub relationships.

If the D/s dynamic is a high protocol Master/slave one, then the submissive might undergo a period of training before he or she is collared. Ideas for training are covered in this post: Slave Training: A Master’s Complete Guide to Training His Submissive.

Where can I read more about BDSM collars?

Read the articles below for more information on collars and collaring.