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DDlg stands for Daddy Dom/little girl. It’s a form of BDSM roleplay where two adults consent to talking on roles with unequal power. One person acts as a caregiver (the Daddy Dom) and the other acts as ‘the little’ – someone who wants to receive care and affection (the little girl).
DDlg is often written with a lowercase ‘lg’ and uppercase ‘DD’ to The lowercase ‘lg’ to symbolise the power dynamic at play. This is a convention seen in other dominance and submission dynamics. For example, Dom/sub, D/s, and M/s (Master/slave).
- DDlg roles
- Why do people enjoy DDlg?
- DDlg and consent
- Is DDlg tied to gender?
- Common DDlg activities
- Does DDlg always involve ageplay?
- How to start a DDlg relationship in 7 steps
- 1. Find a partner
- 2. Raise the topic with your partner
- 3. Complete a sex menu
- 4. Agree on a dynamic
- 5. Agree on activities, rules, and punishments
- 6. Run your first scene
- 7. Debrief
- Resources and community
The two roles in a DDlg relationship are the Daddy Dom and the little girl.
The Daddy Dom
The Daddy Dom role provides care, affection, and looks after the little. A Daddy Dom is a subtype of a general Dominant, which itself belongs to the dominance and submission sub genre of BDSM.
A Daddy Dom specifically refers to a male in the role. However, as you’ll see later, you don’t have to be male to enjoy being in a Caregiver/little relationship. The female equivalent would be a Mommy Dom.
Typical responsibilities of the Daddy Dom are:
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- Monitoring the little during play
- Settings rules for the little, such as a time to be in bed (check out this article for ideas on DDlg rules)
- Disciplining the little should they become bratty or breaks rules
- Providing care and guidance to the little
- Making decisions in the best interest of the little
- Giving praise and affection to the little
- Rewarding the little for good behaviour
The little girl
The little girl role is the counterpart to the Daddy Dom. They are the submissive – the person who gives up control and agrees to be looked after.
The little girl may wish to regress in age to teenage or younger years, or they may simply want to act their real age but be in a D/s relationship that is more about being given care and receiving affection than ageplay.
The little girl role is gendered. The equivalent for a male would be the little boy role.
Typical responsibilities of the little girl are:
- Following the rules set out by the Daddy Dom
- Generally agreeing to the activities the Daddy Dom has set for them
- Being disciplined if they get too bratty or daily to comply with rules
Why do people enjoy DDlg?
Those unfamiliar with DDlg think it has something to do with sexualising children. The reality couldn’t be further from the truth.
DDlg is about two things, broadly speaking: care and affection, and an escape from reality.
- An escape from reality. Modern life as an adult is tough. That’s why some people find it incredibly liberating to be present in the moment. Doing activities such as painting, or being able to act younger than your age for a little while helps them do that. The DDlg dynamic allows you to partake in activities that help you live in the present, and forget about the demands of adult life.
- Care and affection. Who doesn’t like knowing someone is there to care for them? Who doesn’t love a hug from someone they are close to? DDlg brings care and affection to the forefront of the dynamic and makes it something that is focused on, rather than an afterthought. The littles in DDlg dynamics typically LOVE praise and being rewarded for doing something good. Some even go as far as describing themselves as having a ‘praise kink’ – being praised just makes them feel so amazing! If you’re that type of person, then a DDlg dynamic might be for you.
DDlg and consent
DDlg is consensual roleplay between two adults.
I cannot stress this enough.
You’ll notice in the section above I talk about the little girl following rules and going along with the Daddy Dom’s plans, or being disciplined if they don’t.
The key point you MUST understand is that either the Daddy Dom or the little girl can still:
- Use a safeword to end the scene.
- Negotiate their wants and desires.
- Raise concerns to each other if they aren’t getting what they need or want from the dynamic.
- Inform the Daddy Dom that they don’t like something and no longer wish for it to be part of the dynamic without fear of being punished.
- Leave the dynamic if it isn’t what they want.
I’ve written an entire article about punishments (Submissive Punishments: How to Punish Your sub Like a Pro Dom). Please make sure you understand when it is appropriate to punish your partner and when it is abuse. There IS a difference and as a Dom you need to know it, otherwise you’re just an abuser.
It also goes without saying that DDlg does not involve anyone under the age of 18 in any way, shape or form. DDlg is for adults only, and has nothing to do with children despite the name.
Is DDlg tied to gender?
The definition of DDlg is gendered. It’s a term that specifically refers to a man acting as the ‘Daddy Dom’ (caregiver) and the woman acting as the ‘little girl’ (receiver of care).
However, there are other equivalent terms for those of other genders:
- MDlb stands for ‘Mommy Dom(mme)/little boy’ and describes the dynamic when the Dom is female and the submissive is male.
- CGl stands for ‘Caregiver/little’ and is a gender neutral phrase describing a similar power dynamic.
- Mommy/little and Daddy/little can also be used as shorthands, and to describe same-sex pairings, as the gender of the little is not specified. A homosexual couple could use the term Daddy/little and a lesbian couple might use the term Mommy/little.
That said, people sometimes use the term DDlg to describe the entire category of play.
As an example, if you are a man that prefers to take on the role of the little, you might still search for ‘DDLG’ on Google because it’s the biggest category, and many DDlg communities will use it as a catch all for everyone.
Common DDlg activities
Common DDlg activities include:
- Face painting
- Dressing up
- Wanting to be looked after
For a comprehensive list of DDlg activities to try check out the linked article.
The activities above may strike you as childlike. And some of DDlg is about ageplay and regression, and entering that state of childlike wonder once more.
Think about it. Have you ever been on a night out and danced the night away? You lost a sense of time, forgot about your problems, and were completely present in the moment.
Felt great, didn’t it?
Were you acting as a child when you were dancing? Were you acting younger than your age? Maybe, but maybe not. Certainly not intentionally.
Yet dancing might be seen as a relatively childish activity, unless you are doing it formally.
The same is true of DDlg.
Some littles do the activities because they want the ageplay aspects.
Some littles do it because they simply enjoy the activities for their own sake, as a form of escape.
And some littles don’t care for the activities or the ageplay – they simply want to have someone take care of them.
Does DDlg always involve ageplay?
Ageplay isn’t always part of DDlg.
Ageplay is when a consenting adult chooses to act younger than their current age, normally regressing to teenage, preteen, or a younger age. If they are with another person, that person might act as an authority figure, such as a teacher or parent to keep their little safe whilst they play in ‘little space’.
Ageplay isn’t necessarily sexual either. It is more psychological. It’s being able to regress back to a time when you had no bills, no work, and very few cares in the world. As adults we don’t get a chance to do this very often. Those into ageplay find the practice very rewarding, calming, relaxing, and fulfilling.
DDlg can involve ageplay, but may just be one person enjoying being looked after by another.
Myself and Moineau are in a D/s dynamic which have elements of DDlg. Sometimes we do roleplay Moineau being a teenager or university student, but more often than not we both act our actual ages and I will take care of her.
Examples of such interactions might include:
- Me telling her to go and relax in the shower, and joining her, and washing her body with a little massage.
- Me helping her relax by giving her activities to do, such as writing lines, painting, or drawing a picture. Yes these activities are typically things you do when you are younger, but they aren’t being used to age regress in this situation.
CHIEF’S THOUGHT OF THE DAY
To be fair, in our D/s dynamic it’s normally Moineau looking after me! Giving me massages, making meals, etc. 😂. Does that make me the little 🤔?
This is why it can be detrimental to try and shoehorn everything into a box with labels. BDSM is all about expression. What I preach on this website is creating YOUR dream D/s dynamic, not someone else’s.So sometimes it is helpful to forget about labels and just enjoy doing what you like, as long as it is consensual and legal of course.
How to start a DDlg relationship in 7 steps
Excited to start a DDlg relationship? Here’s 7 steps to get you started in the right way.
1. Find a partner
My summary advice is to:
- Use a mixture of regular dating apps, kinky dating apps, munches, and talks about BDSM, sex, and relationships.
- Get out there and meet as many people as you can.
- Talk to them as you would any other human being. Don’t dive straight into chatting kink until you feel they are open to that.
- Ask them on a date!
2. Raise the topic with your partner
If you are already in a relationship then bring up the topic with them as see if they are interested. Read this article for help doing that: How to tell your partner you’re kinky (without the drama).
3. Complete a sex menu
4. Agree on a dynamic
As you’ve no doubt realised, DDlg can be quite varied. You should agree with your partner what aspects of DDlg you want to try. Here are some questions to ask yourself and each other to get going:
- Do you want to include ageplay? What age would you like to regress to?
- Do you want sexual activities included or should activities be platonic only?
- Does dressing up appeal?
- Do you want to do DDlg type activities or would you prefer more of a Caregiving/little style of dynamic where it revolves around praise, rewards, affection, and appreciation?
- How often should we engage in DDlg? Is this the only type of D/s dynamic you want or will it be part of a wider range of things we try?
5. Agree on activities, rules, and punishments
Once you’ve answered the questions above it’s time to nail down the specifics. Agree what activities you’ll do, what rules you want in place, what rewards make sense, and even what punishments will be dished out.
6. Run your first scene
It’s finally time to start! Go ahead and engage in your first DDlg scene. Remember to have all the usual safety protocols in place.
Following the scene and aftercare, talk to your partner. What did they enjoy? Was it what they expected? Do you want to change anything for the next session? Listen to their feedback carefully, and decide if you want to continue with DDlg or not.
My top tip is to over-communicate with your partner, especially when starting out.
Resources and community
Do you’re interested in learning more about DDlg and want a community to support you?
Kinky Events is there for you.
Come check out our Discord server. There’s an entire channel dedicated to DDlg where you can ask as many questions as you wish in a supportive and educational environment.
Apply to the KE community here.
You should also checkout out these articles:
- Podcast episode 21: All about DDlg and CGl (Warning: May be triggering to some). A podcast episode where Moineau and I discuss DDlg and CGl in more detail.
- DDLG Rules: A Little List of Rules for Littles. A list of rules specifically for DDlg dynamics.
- 51 DDLG Activities For The Little in You. A list of activities to give you ideas about what you can do in your dynamic.
You now know what DDlg is, what the roles and responsibilities of the Daddy Dom and little girl are, what a dynamic typically involves.
I hope it has piqued your interest and stoked your kinky fires.
The key takeaways are:
- DDlg stands for Daddy Dom little girl, and is a type of D/s (Dom/sub) relationship where one person consensually relinquishes control to the other.
- People engage in DDlg for all sorts of reasons, but they broadly fit into the categories of being an escape, and because they enjoy receiving care and affection.
- Like all D/s dynamics, good communication and consent are a must. Both people in the DDlg relationship must want to be a part of it, and free to leave at any time.
- DDlg dynamics can involve ageplay but don’t have to.
- DDlg can involve sexual activity but doesn’t have to.
- The term DDlg is sometimes used by people as a catch all to broadly describe Caregiver/little type dynamics. However, strictly, it is gendered due to the words ‘Daddy’ and ‘girl’. There are equivalent terms for other genders which can be used, such as Mommy Dom and little boy, or simple Caregiver/little for a gender-neutral term.
I encourage you to continue exploring your sexuality and what you enjoy in and out of the bedroom. As long as it is consensual and legal, don’t let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn’t enjoy.