My mission is to help 1,000,000 people develop their own unique style of dominance and submission, in a safe and consensual manner, as well as destigmatising and demystifying Dom/sub dynamics, so we can all have healthier, happier, and more pleasurable relationships. I think it’ll make the world just that little bit better.Chief
About Kinky Events and Me
Welcome to Kinky Events, part personal blog, part a place for you to discover events in London for kinky people, including parties, kinky talks and kinky socials. You’ll also learn more about the BDSM world if you’re just starting out (check out all our articles).
I discovered kink relatively recently. As a 30-something man I was back on the London dating scene. More and more frequently I ended up on dates with women who were very open about their sexuality, and had been to a number of play parties, kink events, and tended to have a penchant for submission or being switch (oscillating between being dominant and submissive, depending upon the person they were interacting with).
Their openness and willingness to share their experiences was refreshing. I’d been brought up with the belief that sex was a relatively taboo subject, not to be discussed, and only to be sought within the confines of a committed relationship.
Yet I’d also heard tales of this other world. A world of openness, mystery, debauchery, and sex positivity. A realm where it was ok, if not encouraged, to share your wildest fantasies and work together with a partner (or partners) to help fulfil those if you wanted.
It was through these people that I began exploring being more open in what I wanted. It wasn’t even anything particularly outrageous (by my standards at least), although I can understand others might think it was. I’m talking about things like exporting dominance and submission, open air sex, visiting nudist beaches, attending sex parties, and engaging in group sex.
We all have these fantasies, yet many aren’t willing to openly talk about their wants and needs with their partners, or belief their desires are shameful.
If you are happy with your sex life, and sexually fulfilled, then that’s amazing. But if your preferences push towards kink, and you want to engage in sexual activity which goes beyond what is considered by ‘normal’ (whatever that even means), it can be tough.
For example, at what point do you bring up the subject of sexual compability when dating? Too early, and as a man you will be accused of being a ‘fuck boy’ or ‘only looking for one thing’. Too late and you may end up in a relationship with an altogether wonderful human being who ticks the boxes personality wise, but that sexual itch just isn’t getting scratched, leading to the inevitable breakdown of the relationship.
Many kinksters will leave subtle clues in their ‘regular’ dating profiles to indicate their preferences. A common line is ‘vanilla is only for ice cream’, as ‘vanilla’ is a term used to describe someone who only engages in the traditional sexual routines.
But online dating is difficult enough for both sexes. Women are inundated with thirsty men, and men are crushed by the continual lack of responses (it is us after all who have to do the approach and be rejected many, many times).
So my attention turned to the following idea. Could I build a social circle of people and find a meaningful relationship that way? And if so, it would probably be worth going to plenty of kink events to ensure whoever I am meeting understands kink.
And that’s how I’ve wound up here, posting my thoughts to anonmysous strangers on the internet, with a mission to find a life partner who “gets me”, and hopefully have some fun along the way.
I really hope you enjoy my escapades in dating and attending events. And I hope my words can help you take the courage to get out their, grasp your sexuality firmly, and experience all the sexuality this wonderful has to offer.