What Does a Choker Mean on a Girl?

What does a choker mean on a girl?

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What does it mean when you see a woman wearing a choker around their neck? Does it automatically mean they are submissive and their Dom has collared them?

Not at all. A choker can be worn as a fashion item (they were all the rage a couple of years ago) or they may be a form of day collar.

Whenever I see a girl wearing a choker on the street I wonder if they know what it symbolises, and could be interpreted as a type of BDSM collar, or if they are completely oblivious.

Woman wearing a lace black choker as part of an outfit.
BDSM day collar or not? A black lace choker compliments an outfit nicely. Photo by Renato Abati from Pexels.

There’s really no way of knowing for sure, beside getting to know them, assessing their personality, looking for signs of submission, and outright asking them if you are feeling confident and ask in a polite and non offensive way once you know them better.

The truth is, I doubt the majority of woman I see wearing chokers are doing it because they want everyone to know their are owned. They simply want to get in on a fashion trend which looks cute.

What does a choker mean on a girl?
A wider elasticated black choker with detailing, which could also be worn as a BDSM day collar. Photo by Nicolas Postiglioni from Pexels.

If however you are at a kink event or kink party and see a man or woman wearing a choker then chances are it is because they are involved with a Dom and want to symbolise their involvement in a BDSM lifestyle, and are wearing it as a day collar.

The great thing about chokers is that they do make ideal day BDSM collars, and people not involved in scene will have no idea about the little secret you have with your partner. You can wear it out and about on the street without drawing too much attention to yourself (at least in England anyway).

If you are wearing a black choker at 9am in the morning when you go to the coffee shop then it might raise some eyebrows, but worn as part of an outfit on a date night no one will give it a second glance (except all the Dom’s hoping it really does mean you are submissive and wishing they could get a piece of the action!).

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String choker for day collar on submissive woman
Stroll in the park? This black string choker works great as a discreet day collar.

So ultimately, what does a choker mean on a girl? You can’t tell! Don’t assume they are submissive or know what a BDSM collar is, it could just be a pretty fashion accessory for their neck to them. But there will be a small percentage of choker wearers who do know and are loving their little secret.

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I wear a choker because I AM submissive and want to attract tops, most of whom like the idea and take it as a green light to do me.