Ep14: Subdrop, Aftercare, and Other D/s Stuff (Wisdom Talk)

Conversations with a Dom

In this episode of Conversations with a Dom, Chief and Moineau experiment with Wisdom, an app where mentors can give talks, share knowledge, and help make the world a better place.

Listen to the audio below, and don’t forget to follow on Spotify or your favourite podcast player.

Audio Transcript

[00:00:19] Chief: Hello, and welcome to another episode of conversations with a Dom with me, chief from kinkyevents.co.uk. Now what I have for you today is a talk that we did on wisdom. Wisdom is a new app where you basically go on and you talk and people can join in and start chatting. It’s our first attempt at using wisdom.

So we unfortunately cut off the first five minutes because I didn’t plug the lead into the microphone. And so we recording nothing dead air, even though people were listening. So, uh, this talk is a bit of a ramble. Subspace about aftercare and other related DS things, including sub drop actually. So we hope you enjoy it.

Um, it’s kind of a back and forth discussion between myself and Moineau. If you haven’t downloaded wisdom, go check it out. It’s very similar to clubhouse and some of these other apps where you have a conversation with someone and people listen in like live radio. So without further ado on with the show.

[00:01:25] Moineau: If you’ve gone into, I don’t know, some strange lands of porn or something, and you start watching something that is a bit more bizarre or obscure than your usual porn habits. And after you. Being satisfied. And you come out of that, you’re like, what did I just watch? You know, like what, like, that was a bit weird.

And I think sub drop, you can have that same sort of like psychological, like pushback. You’re like, whoa, what did I just do? You know, like, I can’t believe I just did that. Or I just like debased myself to that 

[00:02:04] Chief: the next day still, or, I mean, it can be feeling that straight away after it’s quite a human reaction, not necessarily.

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[00:02:11] Moineau: It’s it’s not, um, perhaps immediate, but I think it can, you can quickly, your thoughts can kind of. I dunno, you can, you can have to come down. I think a lot of people have a calmed down after sex and I think sub dropped just kind of amplifies those sorts of come down feelings, the post sex blues. 

[00:02:30] Chief: Yeah.

Yeah. So the people who are just joining, um, we’re talking about, uh, Dom dominance and submission dominant Dom sub dynamics. Uh, we’re talking specifically today about sub. And what that means. So, uh, so if 

[00:02:45] Moineau: you are vanilla, then go away. 

[00:02:49] Chief: Of course, that’s all people want to, well, we don’t know what the, who the audience is, but commonly people want to learn about it.

And that’s, uh, that’s why I started my site. Kinky events.co UK. It’s designed to help beginners demystify everything around DS relationships and what that involves. And so if you’re into that or getting into it, or want to explore your sexuality in terms of dominance and submission, BDSM kink, then, uh, yeah, we, we might have some good tips here.

Definitely. Um, so I mean, let’s move on to aftercare quickly. How would you describe aftercare? What is it, why is it important? 

[00:03:25] Moineau: Um, Aftercare is what happens after the scene. It is specifically the care that comes after the scene. And it is so important because it is how you try to engage the effects of sub drop that may happen as a result of your BDSM scene.

So aftercare involves physical and psychological reassurances to. All parties involved in the BDSM scene that everything is okay. Making sure that everyone is feeling well physically, mentally, um, that, you know, any sort of twinges have been massaged out. Um, get some sugar in your system. Water cuddle.

Make sure everyone’s feeling nice and warm and toasty. It’s more perhaps important for the submissive to receive aftercare if they’ve had this big impact seen. But I know that it’s also very important that Dom get their reassurance with aftercare as well. They may be feeling some, um, after effects of the scene feeling perhaps out of their head.

Oh, I don’t know. I’m not, I’m speaking for you now, but like feeling from what I’ve read, feeling out of their head or like guilty that they’ve just, I dunno, spanked their submissive and like gone off, got off on this path. 

[00:04:45] Chief: That’s more that one I would feel, I don’t think I’d feel out of my head, but I’d feel, yeah, maybe.

I’m not sure if guilty is the right word, cause you wouldn’t negotiate it, but yeah, I guess just, uh, wanting to check the other person’s all right. But I, I was more off careful for them not, but I’ve 

[00:05:02] Moineau: heard that some dominant struggle to get out of that mindset. Like especially, you know, if you have a sadistic dominant who is obviously caring of their submissive in.

General, but like in a scene, as a sadist is going to be, you know, a master is going to be inflicting physical pain on those submissive consensually. But I know that some of them struggle to like pull out of the role without some like reassurance from their submissive that like they’re okay. You know that like, it was good.

They wanted it. That’s what. So, yeah. Dom’s need aftercare as well. 

[00:05:44] Chief: Yeah. So what, what would you, what would you give a Dom in their aftercare and how would you do, because if you’re in the same subspace and you’re chilled out, then you’re not really in a position to 

[00:05:53] Moineau: give. Well, that’s why I think immediately after a scene there should be physical contact.

Um, well I say that I know some people actually do want they’re like distance. They just wanted like get wrapped up in a blanket and like go chill with. I don’t know, cartoons or something totally mindless for a little bit before reconnecting. I don’t think that’s the majority. I think the majority of people who are involved in BDSM scenes want to have that physical reassurance, that their partnership and relationship is still okay.

You know, so. Yeah. If I get deep into subspace, oftentimes I lose the ability to really speak to you or to let you know how I’m doing besides maybe some like big sort of like mumbled things, if I’m really trying. Um, but it does make me upset, like in my mind, Don’t leave me. Don’t go and clean up, even though I know that it has to happen, but like, it’s like even, I don’t know, it distance of a couple of feet can feel really like, it can feel like I’m all alone.

All of a sudden it’s, it’s really traumatizing 

[00:07:04] Chief: the thing as well, because say for me, I can’t relax unless things are cleaned up and everything’s. Tie-dyed away. And so, and so if I’m like immediately off to the scene, I want to go and tidy up and you’re like, oh, they abandon me. Then I’m like, oh, 

[00:07:19] Moineau: I think obviously I we’ve been playing for long enough that I know that that’s what you like to do.

But I think, I think when it is a more, um, intense scene, We’ve gotten into a rhythm where you will have things set up for me for afterwards, you know, like already. So it’s like, it’s like, yeah, roll me into a little dovey burrito and then you can go clean up. And as long as I know that I’ve been tucked in by you into this little do vape burrito, I will manage hold on my emotions until you come back from cleaning up.

Yeah. But it’s good to prepare in advance for aftercare. You know, like if you know, you’re going to have some money. Scene that you were about to enact that you should have water on hand. You should have chocolate. Chocolate is actually a known, um, boost for aftercare. I 

[00:08:15] Chief: think it depends on the person. Ask the person if you’re a Dom, make sure you ask.

If it’s an experienced sub, they will know what they want in a. In aftercare and they can tell you 400, it should, it could even be part of your negotiation before the scene. So to understand what, what 

[00:08:31] Moineau: they want. There are certain things that are proven to help in aftercare. And there are things that like up your.

You know, dopamine and serotonin levels in your book, sensational scenes, actually, in which you have written. And I have read, um, there is a part that you discussed aftercare and I, there is a list that, that, I don’t know. Let’s so about 20 or 30. Specific things that you can do, an aftercare that are proven to help people feel better in that situation.

Um, some things are like chewing gum, chewing gum, just the manual mastication of, of chewing gum is supposed to help 

[00:09:15] Chief: you. Might’ve had your mouth full. 

[00:09:17] Moineau: I fact, you look at the list you pick which things are the most. Suitable for that moment or for that person, you know what they like, you know, T cuddles, I mean, 

[00:09:32] Chief: cuddles yes.

And about knowing your partner as well. And so this is why aftercare can be quite difficult to give on a one night stand or why you shouldn’t probably be doing intense BDSM scenes on one night stand because. Uh, you, you don’t know the person, you don’t know them well enough to know what Africa they want.

And even though they may even tell you, but it might feel awkward. Maybe you don’t feel emotionally attached enough to them to give them the aftercare they need. So, yeah, it’s a bit of a, it’s a bit of a weird one. If you, if you don’t know the person that well. Yeah, 

[00:10:03] Moineau: I think in, um, like play space scenarios that generally people will be.

Safe guarding what’s going on in a, in a dungeon and kind of making sure that everyone is, is feeling good and feeling happy still. And there is that general sort of like sense of being, being cared for. I don’t 

[00:10:26] Chief: think people, people tend not to go that hard in play spaces in a parties. 

[00:10:33] Moineau: They exactly for that reason, you know, you want to make sure that everyone can see, well, they 

[00:10:38] Chief: get there with a partner.

So their partner know you can like take them off somewhere. Um, I know I didn’t, I was going to say torture Gordon had told you, Guidon is a, is a. Whereas normally it’s not really a play party, actually. It’s more of a, uh, keen kink, fetish, um, extravaganza, extravagance. Yeah. They, they basically do a nightclub nights club nights, but it’s a lot of techno and everyone dressed up in fetish gear and you have to dress up to get in it’s they do them, I think all over the world, but I think it started in London and they got ones in London and I think, uh, Brighton as well.

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But, um, why was talking about this? Because yeah. They have a playroom, normally what they call the couples room and which is weird to get in. You have to, you have to line up as a couple and then the test they normally do is kiss the other person. Oh really? Yeah. They kiss the other person and that’s like the secret handshake to get in, um, to prove the a couple.

Yeah, but it’s, it’s slightly weird because it’s. I mean, it’s called the couples room, I guess they want couples, but what if you’re a. Some initiation. What if you’re in a through F uh, um, arthropod yeah. 

[00:11:56] Moineau: Ethical non-monogamy. Yeah. 

[00:11:58] Chief: And if you were there with friends and you want to go in together, so it’s this strange, weird one.

I think they closed the room as well because of COVID so they don’t do it anymore. But, um, yeah, if you’re, if you’re kind of new to king, can you want, if you want to explore that kind of scene, um, and you’re into clubbing and techno and that kind of stuff, then. Uh, torch garden is, uh, I think it’s a good gateway in, um, a lot of these parties.

Yeah. It’s kind of it’s it’s I want to say kink light, but that would be, there’ll be doing it down. It’s not 

[00:12:30] Moineau: mainstream, but it’s definitely geared more fetish 

[00:12:33] Chief: than, yeah, it’s definitely, it’s definitely fetish and there’s way more. So a lot of, again, a lot of these parties don’t allow single men in, especially to sex parties.

So a torch garden does, and it’s, the prices are pretty reasonable. I think from what I remember I’m is either like 20 or 40 pounds a ticket, which for a night out in London, isn’t too bad. So, and you get like a thousand. Maybe 1,500, one of the ministry of sound is a big, big venue. I don’t think they do it in ministry anymore, but, um, it’s so, yeah.

And you can go with like a, a bunch of your friends and everyone dresses up. Um, but yeah, anyway, they, you know, some people, some people get naked, but not, not that many actually. And you don’t see much sex in public or any play in public it’s generally happens in the couples room. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, I guess that’s what we were talking about.

They have dungeon spaces as well. I have some bits of equipment, like a horse or a not real horse Hef. Oh, like a wooden horse that you’d find their pommel horse in a gymnasium. It’s an Andrew’s cross that kind of stature. Well, you know, so people ran in the 

[00:13:36] Moineau: horse going into Troy or 

[00:13:38] Chief: something. Exactly. One horse.

He will hidden inside it now. Um, so yeah, again, and people, people wouldn’t go super hard in those kinds of Dungeons. Probably not hard enough to need aftercare or experience. 

[00:13:54] Moineau: I do wish that there were more, um, sex parties and place spaces that had cool-down rooms and that had care rooms specific specifically.

I know. I know that some place parties are beginning to implement that. Um, crossbreeds, I’ve heard that cross reads has a room specifically dedicated to aftercare, and I think that is amazing. And it’s great because if you’re at a party and you were starting to feel overwhelmed by whatever’s going on, it’s good to know that you have a space that you can go and just.

Cool down, um, take a breather and gather yourself together again. 

[00:14:39] Chief: It’s I find it. I’m not a massive fan of those big parties, just because me, the music. Kink and fetish is so intertwined and I’m not a massive music fan. Like I’m, I’m almost 40 now, so I don’t really want to be going out. And I like a good, like 10 30 it 10.

Well, I’m not in bed by 10 30. I mean it’s five past 10 already. I’m yawning away here. So yeah, I like to be the bed, so, and the loud music and nice such an old man, honestly, I’m literally sitting here on my. 

[00:15:10] Moineau: I mean, I can’t do the late nights. I have a long, 

[00:15:13] Chief: no enjoyable. Why can’t these? Why can’t we start part?

Is it like TPS? It’s eight. In fact, some, some, there are some new parties that they’re still quite heavy on the music. Um, some of them are more central, so that’s why like, uh, there’s a great party. I mentioned them a lot. Pleasure island parties. If you’re more into. Parties where it’s smaller, smaller numbers of people say 30 people and it’s more intimate.

Everyone is a nominees force, but everyone is encouraged. To get undressed when they come in. So they’re in their underwear on equal everyone’s equal, everyone’s kind of a, and then they do touch exercises to get everyone in the mood and get the energy. Right. And that, that the space feeding. Nice. I much prefer those because it’s soft music.

It feels good. And you can actually make a connection to someone. You know, trying to figure them on the loud techno in your area. We got here each thing now that that’s happened. No, 

[00:16:17] Moineau: of course. Yeah. Um, Anyway. Yeah. After Paris, it’s a bit hard to do a big 

[00:16:26] Chief: tangent there, 

[00:16:27] Moineau: but no it’s um, 

[00:16:29] Chief: um, so, but yeah, for the new people, do you want us to explain quickly in 30 seconds sub drop aftercare?

[00:16:35] Moineau: So I’ve dropped sucks. It happens after subspace, it’s pretty inevitable, but you can do things to less than it is when your body gets depleted of all these happy chemicals that were going off during these a BDSM scene that you just. Did it. So now you’re like floundering and feeling a bit crummy and need to get your self feeling better again.

So you use aftercare to do. I’m Patrick for a quick flight. 

[00:17:04] Chief: Yeah, it was good. And as the dorm, you need to be aware of how to give yourself aftercare, because otherwise they are going to they’re in a bit of a vulnerable state, certainly right afterwards. And then you may, you may find that the next day after the scene, they’re a bit, um, they’re a bit off or they could be having negative feelings or something depressed or.

Yeah, just a bit low. It’s like a comedown. So you need to be aware of that and, um, uh, just, just make sure they’re right. And you never, you never know how someone’s going to react. You might do exactly the same scene one week and the next week. Um, they get some drop, whereas the first time they didn’t. So it’s, it varies a lot.

Yeah. 

[00:17:48] Moineau: I think it probably also depends on what you’ve been up to generally in your day to day. I know that my. Calm down. It’s usually harder if I’ve been exerting myself, you know, if I’ve been very active and out and about, and very busy, haven’t had time to really stop. If I then have some BDSM scene and it ends, I will not be in a good way.

I know that happened once with us. Um, maybe last year or something. And since. The pandemic. Um, we weren’t seeing each other that often, but we did a scene and then I had to run off right away afterwards. I had to get in a car on the way back to mine. I remember because then I. Miserable. And I started crying in the car.

It was not a fun time. And then you asked me like how I got on, like, did I get home? Okay. And I was like, that was like, I’m like, I’m not in a good way. I’m like really upset. So I had to, and you can’t do much, obviously because I, I was not there. So I just had to kind of pull myself together again. I think I ended up watching like one of, you know, your go-to comfort film.

Um, and like having, I don’t know, I think I bought some ice cream or something and just like cuddled myself and then do being kind of cried until I felt better. But it was, it was, was it 

[00:19:14] Chief: just cause you know, you hadn’t really done 

[00:19:16] Moineau: much before? No, I, it was one that I got tied up and spanked. Um, but I got, you know, and I was restrained for quite a while and that scene got spanked.

It was enjoyable, you know? I came really hard. It was a good time all around, but then it’s like, and I was like, oh, you know, my, my time is up. I have to go rush up, get the car. And then it was just after that, because there was very little aftercare that could be done because of the 

[00:19:44] Chief: time limit and Simon.

And yeah. So I guess that’s one thing to remember if you’re doing a C and make sure you’ve got. 

[00:19:50] Moineau: Definitely. I definitely learned from that experience. I was like, Ooh, I can’t do something that close to leaving again because I’m not in a good way. I need to have that reassurance before I run off and go.

Cause I definitely feel a bit more clingy after Repat done some big scene. I know that I, I. Tend to attach myself to you like a leech afterwards. I’m like, hi koala, koala 

[00:20:12] Chief: time. Yeah. Yeah. So that is, yeah. That’s sub drop. And, um, so, so it goes, you do the scene, you get, uh, aftercare immediately afterwards for, I don’t know, on average.

Five to 20 minutes, depends on the level of the scene and how intense it was. And then sub drop can happen pretty much at any time before from that point onwards for up to two days. Yeah, generally. Yeah. And again, it depends on the scene and what you’ve done in that scene, and I guess it would be different for every person.

So I’m new to it. As an aid, I guess it depends. It depends. No one quite knows what causes it or why it happens, but we assume it’s because of the, the hormonal changes that happen in the body. When you’re say being spanked hard, then you’re going to get some adrenaline released and you’re gonna get some, um, uh, ended kind of well and accountable weights, which kids, the, this sub Spacey for you.

I’m in the system. And as your system, trying to protect yourself from being, from being hurt and flooding your body with all these chemicals, uh, to stop the pain. But also you’re getting pleasure at the same time. So you’re getting a mixture of these pleasure chemicals, but also pain blocking chemicals.

And then you can imagine that a, quite a heady cocktail. So off you go into subspace and you’re kind of spaced out and you can’t really talk in your case. And then. Yeah, no me just go. I’m like, you’re right. You just go.

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Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything and then, um, yeah, and then obviously the next day you’re going to get a massive comedown from 

[00:21:50] Moineau: yeah. And I think you can just imagine, like, if we have three meters of like energy meters in our body, one for, I dunno, dopamine, one for serotonin and one for adrenaline in. I don’t know if it’s exactly those three.

I think it’s similar, but in a scene you’re going to max all of those out and they will feel back up, but it takes time to feel back up. And also they don’t feel about back up at the same rate. Some feel back, uh, feel back up faster than others. So like, you’re going to feel a bit out of sorts until they all equalized back to your baseline.

Yeah. It’s which you explained very nicely in your book. 

[00:22:32] Chief: What’s what would you say at the scenes that cause you the biggest, uh, you need the most aftercare or you experienced the most sub drop? Is there a type of play, 

[00:22:45] Moineau: um, impact plus bondage together, together, together? Yeah. More so. Well, the thing is.

Because certain things will put me in a submissive mindset, which is pre subspace. Um, so if we are playing with bondage that, or like, if I kneel down, there are certain things that get me feeling Subhi, um, oral that’s a great one. Oral will send me immediately to a subbie mindset. And then if we start implementing things like.

Um, bondage with rope and then add the impact, play on top of that. Um, I’m going to have a great time in subspace most likely, but then I’m also going to have a pretty hard come down with the sub drop. So it’s, it’s just the combination 

[00:23:41] Chief: now and it’d be different for everyone. Right? So for some people it might, it might be yeah.

Some people. Yeah, it depends. It depends device 

[00:23:49] Moineau: torture. Yeah. 

[00:23:51] Chief: And you will only know what the, you will only know when you get to know your, you personally playing with and your 

[00:23:59] Moineau: body as the submissive yourself. Yeah. 

[00:24:03] Chief: So we have no one yet. Who’s, he’s joined as a guest, obviously this happened on the other two talks.

Um, so if you want to hear more about this kind of stuff, as we said, you can go to kinky events, kinky with a K don’t know how else you’d spell it for those illiterate amongst the listeners? Uh, yeah. Kinky events. Okay. And you can read lots of guides that I’ve written on DS. If you’re interested in this stuff and you just want to make D D S stands for dominance and submission, of course, which is a subset of BDSM.

So BDSM is, uh, you know, 

[00:24:38] Moineau: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism. It’s a trio acronym, 

[00:24:44] Chief: like a Venn diagram. They will overlap sort of, we’re particularly interested in the dominance and submission, but of course, Is it, as you say is a subset of BDSM and it may include small elements of sadism and masochism, but I’m not bonded.

I’m not particularly into sadists. I, I, I don’t like you like being spam. So hurt you, it’s more to get you to subspace. 

[00:25:08] Moineau: Yeah, exactly. I don’t, I don’t like, I like Spanx pad. I don’t like the pain, but I liked the PA, but I liked the Spanx and I also do like the pain, so yeah. I do like bondage. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Discipline is one of those things like, yeah, I guess I do like it. No, I really do like it and I really do crave it actually. And I start to act up if I don’t have. Yeah. 

[00:25:36] Chief: maintenance, spankings. 

[00:25:38] Moineau: Love those don’t get enough of those would like more. 

[00:25:41] Chief: Yeah, well it was that article I read and they were like, oh, you shouldn’t, they made some spankings or a bad 

[00:25:46] Moineau: thing.

Maintenance spankings are great. 

[00:25:49] Chief: Or every 

day, 

[00:25:51] Moineau: I mean, what happened. Send me over the counter gave me a sweat. I’m at the bum just to keep me on my toes. You 

[00:25:56] Chief: know, that’s not really a maintenance, but it could become a military. Yeah. Yeah. We didn’t live together. So it’s hard to, it’s hard to enforce more.

Serious rules. And, um, so I would prefer it. Well, not prefer, but you obviously get people who are into DS who only do it in the bedroom. So they just want to experiment with, you know, I always use the rougher sex, but of course it’s it’s anything that heightens the power dynamic or the control between the two people or three people or how many people.

And they give it in the bedroom. And as soon as they finished the scene, it goes back to an everyday dynamic. I would prefer my dynamic to be more inside and outside the bedroom. So more of a 24 7 type of thing, but not Gavin, not high protocol and not super Solomon strict and serious. So it’s not this.

Dom who’s domineering and has no laughs and the sub must do everything he said. So not typical master slave type of, um, type of experience, more, uh, more, uh, general everyday relationship, but there’s, there’s hints of dominance and submission within hence the power play within it. Yeah. And then I think it’d be much easier to see.

Um, specific rules, like, I mean, we’ve done a few basic ones, you know, like you have to be waiting outside the shower, on your knees with my towel, or you always have to get me a glass of water or when we’re out and, you know, any sort of rules like that really difficult to enforce because if you’re not doing them every day, like anything, you forget it.

Doesn’t have it. If you’re seeing the person that’s seven, seven days a week, then. There’s more chance to put rules into, into the definitely 

[00:27:48] Moineau: logistics are just an absolute nightmare when it comes to BDSM relationships. And I don’t think people realize that. I mean, I think, I think the benefits outweigh the negatives for me obviously, but like yeah, logistics, man.

It always comes down to 

[00:28:03] Chief: it does. It does. And you obviously, you couldn’t do. Remote dominance, but it’s just not the same. It’s just not the same. Cause if I texted you to do something, I’ve texted you things like, you know, get on your knees and take a photo with your tongue, sticking out, or take a photo of your bomb or, um, write, write me some lines or whatever, but it’s difficult.

Cause I feel bad sometimes because I don’t know what you’re doing. You might be super busy. I don’t want to. But you out of your everyday routine or interrupt, you, let’s say you’re doing yoga or something and I’ll text you that then you might be like, oh yeah, I can’t do it now. Is it all right if I come back in the hour and then I, I feel a bit bad, so 

[00:28:44] Moineau: I don’t think you need to feel bad.

I think maybe we should have a chat about remote or what is okay to do remotely. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I, I, I enjoy that. I like knowing that this. A fun little element to add to my day activities. It makes it feel like a, like a challenge. You know, there’s some that I can accomplish successfully or not. And if I don’t accomplish it successfully, then I get punished for it, which is also very enjoyable, 

[00:29:10] Chief: rewarding after.

And we should say all of this is consensual. That is the main thing we’ve talked about. Sub drop. And if, you know, if don’t, if you’re, if the partner you’re with is feeling like bad the next day, Then, um, yeah, it’s sub drop is not an excuse for emotional abuse or physical abuse. You can’t just eat. What am I trying to say?

I’m trying to. Everything we do is negotiated and it’s consensual. And therefore if sub drop happens is it’s a side effect. It’s not, it’s never the intention. So we’re not talking here about doing something, someone, and then brushing off the next day as, oh, they’re just, they’ve just got some. Uh, because they did something that you forced them into.

That’s not, absolutely not 

[00:29:59] Moineau: what we’re talking. It’s a known, calculated risk that we are aware of before we even begin playing. But that’s because we’ve also experienced it, you know, and we we’ve read up on it. And I think people getting into BDSM may not be aware of. At the beginning that these things can happen and they do have been all the time.

So it’s, it’s good to have a little bit of, I think it’s to practice BDSM responsibly. I think you do need to educate yourself on at least the basics before you even begin to. Um, you know, you should either talk to people who are doing the lifestyle or find some handy guides online, conveniently, you can find some great ones@kinkyevents.co.uk, but there are plenty of other places where you can find information.

Pretty, pretty accessibly. Now. 

[00:30:51] Chief: Yeah. If you’re in, if you’re based in London or any major city there’s there’s loads of talks, generally not loads, of course, but there’s certainly. One a month, I’d say in London, going on where you can learn the basics of BDSM, or you can hear someone talk about it and, um, yeah, 

[00:31:07] Moineau: of course.

Okay. I was concerned relationship, um, ethics in general, you know, all those things help as well. Yeah. 

[00:31:15] Chief: Yeah. Great. Well, there we are. Um, it’s getting, getting late here, so we’re going to wrap it up. Thank you for listening. Do you follow if you want to hear more of this kind of stuff? Uh, as, as I said, Begin a dome or begin a sub.

You can find some more guides that can give it so KDK and, um, yeah, that’s uh, that’s it for chief and name? Yeah, there’s a podcast, but we’ll, we’ll let them find it. We’re not, I don’t think we’re meant to be promoting it. We love to talk to some guests at some point, but, um, Well, two major talks so far and no one, as we said last time, it’s a bit of a sensitive subject.

So we totally, again, no, it’s more just, you know, if they, if they’ve used their real name, for example, in their profile, they probably don’t want to get on and chat about this kind of stuff. All right. So we’ll, we’ll call it there. Um, thank you once again for listening and have you joined in the talk? Do you follow if you did and uh, yeah, we’ll leave you.

To enjoy the rest of your day. Happy, 

[00:32:14] Moineau: healthy, and kinky. Happy 

[00:32:16] Chief: Bye everyone.

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ChelCFC

How do I find you on the Wisdom app?