What Being a Dominant REALLY Means

I was going to post my results but can’t find where to 😚

100%Rigger I enjoy being in control and having a partner rendered useless in a compromising or otherwise artful and appreciative way is a huge power trip and turn on for me and long as they enjoy letting go of that control and giving it to me. I feed off a partners energy and if my partner doesn’t enjoy what I am doing it becomes boring. I get excitement and enjoyment only as long as my partner feels enjoyment and excitement.

100%Switch I can never be dominant 100% percent of the time or in all areas of life all the time. It is stressful and draining. I need an occasional escape and tension release by letting go someone I love and trust. I can only give up control in a scenario I am comfortable with. I may be comfortable one time with the scenario, but another time it can trigger past trauma. Being really submissive is a big part of my nature in some ways but in others, I used to yearn for submission but now I get anxiety and triggered by it. Doesn’t mean I don’t still want some of those types of submission, just only when I know I am able to handle it and feel safe in the control of someone I love and trust.

100%Mommy (when I build a close and vulnerable bond with trust with someone I tend to care a lot about the person I developed the bond with. I would definitely say I am nurturing and love to lavish affection on a partner regardless of whether they are my Dom or my sub.

95%Primal (Hunter) I enjoy the feeling of being so turned on by someone that I want them so badly I feel like a wild feral animal in heat ready and rearing to go for an instinctual and sensual mating session fueled by utter sexual urge/desire and desperation for release and instinctual expressions of affection. I like tenderness and aggressiveness in various ways and it can be very intense. The longer it is drawn out the more satisfying it will be. No need to rush even if it feels rushed from desperation. I like taking things slow and taking my time. This is especially great if out in nature where we won’t be caught by others or feel threatened by local wildlife predators. Preferably near natural water like a stream, a waterfall, a lake or a warm water spring in a cave.

89%Owner I like the idea that someone would want to belong to me and trust me that much. Also, I think it’s sexy for someone to submit to me and go into a cage.

89%Dominant As a woman, I enjoy feeling seen and heard and being respected. Having an avenue where this is the dynamic is extremely healing and can make me feel safe. Especially when I have been treated quite poorly in almost every workplace and I have even been raped. When I am heard and not dismissed or belittled or invalidated, I feel like I matter to someone and am therefore very loyal and motivated to making sure they feel they matter too. I also feel like I am being violated or assaulted sometimes when I am feeling like someone is treating me like I am inconsequential. I get turned on when someone does what I ask them to do. I am a very considerate person and have strong empathy and therefore have strong feelings to control and serve another, but I don’t want to give and not benefit. I can too easily be taken advantage of. This is my downfall.

84%Voyeur I enjoy spaciousness and cleanliness and I enjoy it when someone is willing to help keep a space clean (especially if they wore a cute outfit for me to appreciate the very erotic view of them cleaning so I don’t have to do it all myself.). It makes me feel really relaxed and like someone sees my efforts and seeks to ease my stress levels. It is sexiest when someone asks me what they can take off my plate and how I want it done and executes the task accordingly as I watch. Makes me feel like someone really cares about me and knows that if they take tasks off my plate, I have more free time to spend with them. I also like it when a partner dances for me or does anything for me I find sexy just so I can appreciate the view.

83%Girl Sometimes, when I am in pain, I revert to a childlike mindset. Comes from really bad migraines. Helps me feel less pain somehow. I would also like being guided and feeling supported which is something I’ve never had but always needed. My actual parents suck at this. Because I have an anxiety disorder, which has only gotten worse from being raped and from workplace abuse, sometimes I need someone who can help me get through difficult things and make me feel like I’m not alone. My parents instead tear me down and make me feel worthless and have even stated that they wish they never had me. I want to feel cared for and looked after and like I’m worth something to someone. When I feel like I matter, I have more energy and I feel stronger and better able to take on any challenge I come across. I enjoy being nurtured. I don’t get this from anyone. It hurts everyday because this is something I really need and it hinders my ability to function as an adult. Is it so bad that I want someone to love and take care of me? I want to be spoiled and adored and have lots of quality time with someone who genuinely gives a damn about me and wants to help me succeed and do my best in life.

82%Mistress I know how difficult it is to feel unsafe and like the home life is unstable especially when living with very discouraging people. I enjoy being an encouraging and uplifting person. I like creating a space for people to feel at ease around me…but I am also particular in the ways I want some things done. I enjoy obedience.

80%Rope bunny Being tied up is sexy as all get-up. But ONLY if I really trust, love, and feel safe with my partner. Feeling uncomfortable while tied up is not a turn on and it is triggering for me. This is only something to be enjoyed. Bondage of many kinds turns me on and may serve to either sexually excite or really relax me and make me feel secure and sleepy. Other times it is just good fun and I’m totally up for being an utter goofball in ropes and other forms of bondage.

79%Submissive I like to follow a good communicator with confidence in areas I’m not so confident in. I need to be told what to do in some areas of my life because these areas are overwhelming for me. I also am very service oriented and like thinking of the people I love and being thoughtful in my actions and how I treat them. I need to grow in discipline. One day I want to take an etiquette course or 2 to help me be more respectful, and work on my own communication. I crave structure in the areas of my life I have a difficult time building structure in and someone to help me work successfully within the structure they create for me in these areas. Knowing that I do a good job is crucial. I don’t like feeling like a wallpaper. I want someone to recognize I care and that I exist and I matter by acknowledging a job well done. I like knowing I contribute to a better quality of life for someone. And I like feeling like someone cares about me when they see my work. In the workplace, I could try really hard to do a really good job in something that is difficult but someone else could get recognized and appreciated for a smaller less challenging task. This, when the norm, makes me feel like I don’t matter and what I contribute doesn’t matter. It is really hurtful. Workplaces say, “this is a service industry”, or even if it isn’t, “you get paid, what do you care”. This makes me feel worthless, taken-for-granted, and really hurt. I can get really depressed and feel super torn down if I fail my partner even if I tried my best or I am not feeling seen at all. I feel this way in the workplace too. It is a super unfulfilling feeling that makes me feel a complete lack of motivation and it can feel crippling. I love cooking and sewing and crocheting, etc. I like the idea that someone’s life is better because I was a part of it.

67%Experimentalist I have so many fantasies and I want to try so many things. I am hungry. And I am horny all the damn time. I masturbate more than once a day sometimes because I haven’t had a sexual partner since I was raped in the mid-2010’s. I crave sex and sexy adult fun all the time and want to explore my sexuality and my body and a partners body desperately. I also like trying new things outside of sex as well. I’m a military brat…comes with the territory. I love trying new foods, learning new skills, just new things in general as long as they aren’t destructive and wasteful to the planet—As an indigenous woman, this means a lot to me—nor going to compromise my health in ways I am not okay with. I love adventure in life in oh so many ways. I’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping, rock climbing, surfing, have some survival training, take in person tour that teach about foraging, go sailing and learn how to sail…especially the Polynesian way, etc… I am a very curious person.

63%Masochist I enjoy pain…not abuse. I like being spanked a certain way and one of my biggest fantasies that I would love to enjoy is being flogged while hooked up to a St. Andrews Cross and when my back has been properly warmed up with moments of my flogging partner using their fingers to create sensations on my back hear and there in between gradually intensified flogging that intensify every time they pause to touch me as the blood going to the surface of my skin makes the area more sensitive. Then I want to be whipped to my limit and be able to zone out in sub space and enjoy the ecstasy as my partner whips me a little longer and then lovingly takes me down and holds me securely, maybe in a warm blanket if I need it. And kisses my skin everywhere as I relax in the sub space state and slowly come out of it possibly falling asleep in the process but still never feeling alone. Preferably always having at least a little bit of physical contact from my partner to know I haven’t been left alone. I would still sense it whilst asleep. I may also need something to drink. Once in sub space, I may enjoy my partner massaging my holes with their dick and/or some toys or licking, sucking, massaging my vulva with their mouth and tongue and fingers. I like the idea of a partner I am fully committed to cumming inside me. I feel it is part of my purpose somehow. Part of my being to want their cum inside me and it is very fulfilling. Like I am somehow complete. I love that they would leave a part of themself inside of me that if I were to put on my panties, I could take this part of them with me like a badge of honor, a symbol of contentment, commitment, and sense of belonging. Like I am claimed by them just as I claim them. We belong to and with each other. Maybe when they are done however, they take me to the bathroom and clean me and hold me and pamper me. When I am myself again, I would of course like to have them cum in my mouth too as they watch. This is my biggest fantasy that has yet to be fulfilled. Pain-wise, I also like nipple clamps, and electric stimulation in lightly painful ways. I love my ass being trapped and spread apart in a way that hurts slightly. I like a little pain from my holes being stretched and filled.

62%Primal (Prey) I like being the prey if it is flirty and playful and full of humor. It turns me on. I’m a total goofball and love it. I like being around people who are goofy too. Also, a lot of what I said under Primal(Hunter) applies to this but just taking on a different role…and mostly not always to resist and try to escape and get away but to enjoy getting caught and accept it while looking forward to the natural progression of what is gonna happen next. Super hot!

61%Sadist I enjoy inflicting a little discomfort or pain. I don’t enjoy cruelty. If they enjoy something that would be cruel to one person but is satisfying and enjoyable to them, then as long as they enjoy it, so I will too. Consent would regularly be confirmed especially for this one.

48%Degrader This is only something I would enjoy if someone asked me to do this and wants this and would thoroughly enjoy this. I would never do this except in very light ways unless I knew the person desires to be degraded and humiliated.

47%Slave Handing over control to a Master in areas I don’t excel would help me focus less time on it and focus more time on improving me and my masters quality of life through thoughtful and observant servitude, going above and beyond my Masters demands in thoughtful and giving ways, if I can and have the time. Things I am not good at can take more time for me than really should be spent which makes me feel stupid and like I have wasted time I wish I could have had for something else productive. I would feel relief if I don’t have to worry about it so much anymore as long as I am aware of the results my Master achieves. I’m kind of a homemaker type of person so being 1950’s housewife type slave would really work for me.

44%Brat In my family, being called a brat is a form of claiming familial attachment to one another and well as a label to be proud of and gladly admit to. Being bratty occasionally is part of enjoying life. Having someone to enjoy being bratty with makes life even more better. I love being lovingly teased and pestered in endearing and charming ways by a man who is gentle and tender but also big and strong. I don’t want to be with someone who would use their strength against me in scary ways so this sort of playfulness helps put me at ease.

41%Pet I don’t mind the pet owner dynamic but I don’t want to crawl on the floor or eat out of a doggy dish on the floor. But being fed and adored and cared for is appealing. If I am to get in a cage, I would want them to join me because I wouldn’t want to be alone and also it is potentially very sexy. Sex cage anyone?

40%Ageplayer I am typically attracted to men older than me but not necessarily older men. Otherwise, see Girl. I enjoy someone who is mature in who they are…not really in their age though. I like near my age but behaves like I am able to respect and tolerate them. If they are too young age-wise or lack maturity, I am completely turn-off and put-off by them, I would cringe, feel like I am crawling in my skin and feel general sense of dis-ease and lack of security. I need someone I can lean on from time to time and feel like they can and know how to handle it.

38%Vanilla To me, this has it’s place. But only when it is passionate not robotic and boring. Ugh! How uncomfortable and awkward. I need to really be into my partner for this one to be really enjoyable…and I mean attracted to who they are, not just their body. The soul that inhabits the body has more weight on my attraction than the body itself but I need to be attracted to both enough to enjoy sex in any way.

37%Brat tamer I do enjoy playfully putting someone in their place.

5%Non-monogamist I do enjoy thoughts of double penetration, but I do not want more than one partner.

0%Degradee This is triggering for me so absolutely not!

0%Exhibitionist Only in privacy of personal space and with partner admiring me as I go about my day at home in sexy outfit…or along these lines. Not for others view. I’m up for learning pole dancing and other sexy activities that my partner would enjoy watching me perform for them and only them.

This is my list! Learned a lot about myself with this list and realized I am more submissive than I thought…I knew it but never fully processed it. Probably because I’ve been condition to repress this part of me. Might be one of the reasons why I have so much anxiety every day. I am interested in exploring more of who I am in the realm of BDSM and how it reflects in me in my day to day life and my sexy sides too.

Thank you!
Cozy (Yes, this is actually my name)

15)
100%
Dominant More info
87%
Rigger More info
83%
Sadist More info
80%
Primal (Hunter) More info
73%
Master/Mistress More info
69%
Owner More info
68%
Brat tamer More info
63%
Daddy/Mommy More info
54%
Degrader More info
37%
Vanilla More info
35%
Experimentalist More info
26%
Voyeur More info
10%
Slave More info
9%
Non-monogamist More info
6%
Masochist More info
5%
Exhibitionist More info
4%
Rope bunny More info
3%
Degradee More info
0%
Brat More info
0%
Pet More info
0%
Primal (Prey) More info
0%
Boy/Girl More info
0%
Submissive More info
0%
Switch More info
0%
Ageplayer More info

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
89% Dominant
82% Rigger
73% Voyeur
72% Master/Mistress
69% Owner
65% Brat tamer
65% Sadist
63% Primal (Hunter)
59% Experimentalist
58% Daddy/Mommy
49% Non-monogamist
47% Exhibitionist
41% Vanilla
40% Ageplayer
39% Boy/Girl
39% Masochist
38% Switch
37% Degrader
36% Primal (Prey)
34% Rope bunny
32% Submissive
29% Brat
24% Pet
17% Degradee
16% Slave

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
96% Voyeur
95% Masochist
94% Switch
87% Submissive
82% Rope bunny
82% Experimentalist
82% Degradee
76% Brat
74% Slave
72% Primal (Prey)
71% Non-monogamist
68% Exhibitionist
64% Pet
40% Dominant
14% Vanilla
10% Primal (Hunter)
8% Rigger
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Sadist
0% Owner
0% Master/Mistress
0% Boy/Girl
0% Degrader
0% Brat tamer
0% Ageplayer

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
98% Dominant
82% Master/Mistress
72% Rigger
60% Primal (Hunter)
58% Brat tamer
58% Vanilla
53% Degrader
45% Experimentalist
45% Owner
34% Switch
32% Voyeur
30% Daddy/Mommy
27% Sadist
22% Exhibitionist
21% Non-monogamist
20% Primal (Prey)
12% Submissive
10% Rope bunny
10% Ageplayer
3% Degradee
1% Pet
0% Slave
0% Boy/Girl
0% Brat
0% Masochist

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
92% Experimentalist
84% Switch
58% Dominant
56% Master/Mistress
43% Submissive
42% Vanilla
39% Voyeur
37% Non-monogamist
32% Rope bunny
28% Brat tamer
23% Rigger
17% Owner
15% Slave
11% Exhibitionist
7% Brat
6% Masochist
5% Primal (Hunter)
3% Degrader
3% Sadist
1% Pet
0% Ageplayer
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Degradee
0% Boy/Girl
0% Primal (Prey)

== Results from bdsmtest.org == 
96% Dominant 
84% Rigger 
78% Sadist 
75% Brat tamer 
68% Degrader 
66% Vanilla 
62% Primal (Hunter) 
52% Master/Mistress 
39% Owner 
39% Exhibitionist 
36% Voyeur 
30% Daddy/Mommy 
30% Experimentalist 
27% Switch 
22% Masochist 
20% Primal (Prey) 
12% Submissive 
10% Brat 
8% Ageplayer 
2% Rope bunny 
0% Degradee 
0% Boy/Girl 
0% Non-monogamist 
0% Pet 
0% Slave 

I guess I’m the boring one…
93% Switch
84% Experimentalist
80% Vanilla
66% Voyeur
59% Rigger
52% Non-monogamist
52% Dominant
52% Primal (Hunter)
45% Submissive
43% Rope bunny
39% Exhibitionist
37% Daddy/Mommy
28% Masochist
22% Brat tamer
20% Primal (Prey)
14% Sadist
11% Brat
11% Master/Mistress
10% Owner
3% Pet
2% Degrader
1% Slave
0% Ageplayer
0% Degradee
0% Boy/Girl