Walking away from my first Feeld social event I have a smile on my face.
It’s a smile that is coming from a warmed heart. I often worry that I don’t feel as much joy or emotions as I should, and so it’s with a sense of relief and joy that I sit on the tube smiling.
The event was a kinky social organised by the kinky dating app Feeld, originally designed for couples to meet a third to explore threesomes. This event combined socialising, speed dating, and a panel discussion about gender identity.
Going to mingle with a room full of strangers was intimidating, uncomfortable, and often I hung around the edges of the room not know who to approach or who to smile at. It was awkward. But at the same time I’m still happy.
One of the activities organised during the night was a mirror, where anyone could go and write how they were feeling. Each message was a positive spin on something that person appreciated about themselves.
I read a few of the comments. There was everything from someone being thankful to be blessed with nice breasts, to someone who had not got out of bed until 4pm (perhaps, I assumed, due to depression) and was offering themselves encouraging words that even though the sun had gone down and it was dark, the simple act of getting out of the house and coming along to the event was a step in the right direction. That got me right in the feels.
How can I possible not smile at the wonder, courage and honesty of a group of strangers who were willing to shame in public a personal thought.
Another highlight was the speed dating, where 40 people of all genders and sexualities, many attending with their partners (wives, girlfriends, boyfriends) sat and talked for a few minutes with whoever was opposite them, Human to human, regardless of whether you were sexually attracted to them, or interested in a date, or even matched their sexuality. It just didn’t matter, it was about trying to make a real connection (well, as much as you can in five minutes).
I’ve said it in other articles, but there is something so warming and lovely about the people who go to kink related events. There’s no pressure to be anything you are not. Trans, queer, straight, polyamorous, pansexual, heterosexual, open relationships, closed relationship, it just doesn’t matter. You do you and let others do them. And if you happen to meet someone who ignites your fire then even better.
The fact I’m writing this on the tube on the way home is a testament to how it has made me feel. Encouraged that there are beautiful people in the word. Encouraged that there is someone out there for me who will be in to the same things I am. It won’t be easy to find them, but they are there.
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I guess ultimately these events restore my faith in humanity a little bit, that there is kindness in the world and people can be civil to each other.
The other positive was I was invited to Torture Garden by one woman and her male friend. (Note to self. Need to work harder on getting into shape). I also got connected with them on Fetlife, and also one other married man who I enjoyed speaking to during the speed dating, and I thought may have some interesting advice on finding someone in the kink scene. His wife was there too, so if they are interested in playing I’d be up for that, but that wasn’t the main reason I wanted to connect. He just seemed down to earth and cool.
Overall I recommend a Feeld social event. It is nerve-racking going alone (and I consider myself a relatively confident and social person), so next time I’ll take a friend or message one of the people I met to come along too.