Confessions of a Sub: First Time Scene Nerves

Woman stands by window

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I lifted a corner of the satin blindfold from my eyes and took one last peek around the living room.

I’d set it up just as The Boss instructed: the curtains were drawn, candles were lit, the heavy iron mirror from the bedroom had been moved into the living room and propped up against the wall. The heating was on, making it warm enough for me to kneel in next-to-nothing on the living room floor.

I re-adjusted the blindfold over my eyes and took a deep breath; he would be here soon.

My Dom (The Boss) and I had been exploring our D/s dynamic from very early on in our relationship. It wasn’t intentional, I wasn’t looking for a D/s relationship, we just seemed to naturally bring it out in each other.

I’ve always liked sexual partners to take the lead and he had a lot of unexplored kinks and fetishes, one of which was domination.

The Door Was Unlocked – Anyone Could Walk In

Knelt on a cushion, I waited patiently for my Dom.

He’d sent instructions detailing how he’d like the room to be arranged and how I should present myself. Bra-less and in a black vest top and lace pants, I toyed nervously with the rim of my knee-high socks. The door was unlocked and, although it was very unlikely a stranger would walk in, I imagined the look of shock on the face of an innocent visitor should they find me blindfolded on the floor. 

My heart was racing in anticipation of our first scene.

Woman kneeling on floor in lingerie and high heels

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We’d certainly made a good start at exploring our kinks (and had a long list of more we wanted to try) but this would be the first time The Boss had planned things out in advance. Just the thought of him knowing what was going to unfold while I was completely in the dark (literally) enhanced that submissive mindset.

The front door clicked open and I held my breath.

Blood pounded in my ears as excitement mixed with apprehension. I had such a strong urge to rip the blindfold from my eyes and run to the bedroom. I felt so exposed and vulnerable.

I swallowed the nerves and planted my hands firmly onto my knees. 

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“Good girl” came the familiar voice of The Boss as he walked into the living room. I heaved a sigh of relief.

He later told me how much of a turn on it was to find me there waiting for him on my knees; everything arranged  as instructed. He could see how nervous I was, my twitching fingers and lip nibbling, it made him feel strong and in control but also protective. 

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The Power of Anticipation 

Still completely blind to where he was, I turned my head to every little sound.

Suddenly he was behind me, gently running his hands over my back and shoulders. I could tell he was excited from his breathing, but he was controlling himself well .

He brought his head close to the side of my face, his breath tickling my ear. Then he grabbed me firmly and kissed my neck. That was about as much as my body could stand. I needed him to fuck me there and then, I was prepared to beg for it.

I needed him to be pinning me down and taking what he wanted. The anticipation had driven me wild and every little touch felt electric, the desired effect of course. He took off my blindfold and kissed me.

The build up to this moment had started a full 24 hours before, with his email of instructions.

The next level was then carrying out these instructions to prepare the space, wondering what he was going to do to me as I readied the living room. As the hours ticked by to his arrival and I carried out my duties, I could feel that slow transition from my everyday life to my submissive one. By the time he touched me my nerves were on edge and I was ready to do just about anything he asked.

As it turned out, spanking was the first request.

Soft Skin Ready to be Spanked

I lay across his bare thighs as he relaxed into the couch.

He’s tried spanking me with a variety of implements in the past (paddles, floggers, canes) but his preference is with his hand. I love it when he spanks me, he gets the force just right every time.

I don’t want it to be painful, I like it to have a nice little sting but not actual pain.

There is a bit of an art to achieving that apparently.

I asked The Boss how he managed to judge it so well. The trick, he said, is to start slow. A few light swats to warm things up and then he watches me and how I react. If I don’t flinch then the next spank is harder.

He can start to see that spaced out look on my face and he knows he can take it a bit further.

Relaxing Into Submission

What I love about being submissive is that I don’t have to think. I trust my Dom completely, he knows my limits and he knows what I like, it feels so good to do what he tells me.

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He told me to get on all fours in front of the mirror, so that is exactly what I did.

I watched him in the mirror as he walked over to me, tall and confident. He knelt behind me and grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling my head slightly back so I could see him.

There’s something especially erotic about watching someone fuck you in a mirror. I could see the power in his muscular body as he moved, how small I was compared to him.

He’d increase the intensity, grabbing me firmly and fucking me hard, then slow things down with gentle kisses and caresses. He finally flipped me over with ease and threw my legs over his shoulders, almost folding me in half as he fucked me.

He held his hands over my ears and brought his face close to mine,  another move that pushes me further into subspace, fucking me slowly as he gazed into my eyes. Watching me closely as I moaned with pleasure.

That particular scene continued through increasing and decreasing levels of intensity for hours, all at the behest of The Boss. We’ve had many scenes since, but this is one I like to think back on, my first true submission.

The Art of Submission. A course for beginner submissives
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Hmm sounds good. Taking some ideas from this for my scenes with my sub.