4 exciting flavours of power play to explore as a BDSM beginner (with 50+ examples)

50 Ways to Power Play in BDSM

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Welcome to the world of power play, where the thrill of dominance and submission can bring an electrifying edge to your relationship and sex.

Whether you’re a novice or a seasoned pro, there’s always a way to incorporate different styles of power play into your BDSM scenes and relationships.

In this guide, I’ll give you 4 different styles of power play and over 50 examples to explore. Pick the ones which resonate with you the most, and give them a go!

1. Role-play scenarios for beginners

Role-playing can be a playful and exciting way to explore power dynamics.

Start with simple scenarios like “boss and secretary” or “teacher and student” to ease into the roles.

Remember, the key is to have fun and stay relaxed. These scenarios can help you get comfortable with power exchange in a controlled and familiar context.

Here’s a list of role-play scenarios to try:

  • Teacher and Student: The classic power dynamic. Great for setting up scenarios of reward and discipline.
  • Boss and Employee: Play around with the dynamics of performance reviews and office politics.
  • Royal and Servant: Indulge in a bit of historical fantasy with kings, queens, and their loyal subjects.
  • Doctor and Patient: A scenario that allows for an exploration of trust and control in a medical setting.
  • Police Officer and Suspect: Perfect for those who like a bit of interrogation and the thrill of the chase.
  • Pirate and Captive: Set sail on the high seas of adventure and power exchange.
  • Vampire and Victim: For a touch of supernatural thrill, explore the dynamic of predator and prey.
  • Spy and Informant: Delve into a world of secrets, intrigue, and seduction.
  • Celebrity and Personal Assistant: Play around with the glamour and power imbalances of the rich and famous.
  • Landlord and Tenant: Negotiate the terms of living arrangements in a fun, playful way.
  • Personal Trainer and Client: Explore the dynamics of discipline, control, and physical power.
  • Master Chef and Apprentice: Cook up some spicy scenarios in the kitchen.
  • Photographer and Model: Focus on the aspects of exposure, direction, and artistic control.
  • Wizard and Apprentice: For a magical twist, delve into the realm of fantasy power play.
  • Knight and Squire: Medieval themes can add a chivalrous angle to your power dynamics.
  • Alien and Abductee: For a sci-fi twist, explore the unknowns of intergalactic power play.
  • Director and Actor: Play with the dynamic of performance, direction, and stardom.
  • Bounty Hunter and Fugitive: Adds an element of chase and capture to your role play.
  • Rich Aristocrat and Butler/Maid: Explore the dynamics of wealth, service, and command.
  • Explorer and Lost Tourist: Great for scenarios involving guidance, survival, and control in unknown territories.

2. Incorporating sensory play

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Sensory play involves heightening or depriving the senses to enhance the power dynamic. Try blindfolding your partner to heighten their sense of touch and anticipation. Experiment with different textures like feathers or silk. Remember, always discuss boundaries and comfort levels before starting.

Here are some sensory play ideas to get you started.

  • Blindfolded Taste Test: Use different foods, flavours, and textures to explore taste in an unexpected way.
  • Feather Tickling: Light, feathery touches can be a thrilling way to explore touch.
  • Ice Play: The sensation of cold ice on the skin can be both shocking and stimulating.
  • Aromatic Oils: Use scented oils for a massage to engage the sense of smell in a relaxing, intimate way.
  • Silk and Satin: Experiment with fabrics like silk or satin to caress or lightly drape over the skin.
  • Soundscapes: Create or use existing soundtracks to set a mood or evoke certain feelings.
  • Temperature Play: Alternate between warm and cool objects to create a contrasting sensory experience.
  • Textured Gloves: Gloves with different textures can provide a variety of tactile experiences.
  • Blindfolded Touch Exploration: With sight removed, focus intensifies on touch and anticipation.
  • Food Play: Use various food items for their texture and taste – think whipped cream, chocolate, or fruits.
  • Sensory Deprivation: Using earplugs or blindfolds to heighten other senses.
  • Massage with Different Textures: Use items like massage balls, brushes, or even hands for varied sensations.
  • Water Play: Incorporate different temperatures and pressures of water, like a gentle shower or mist.
  • Layered Fabrics: Experiment with layering different fabrics against the skin.
  • Vibrations: Use vibrational tools or toys to add a buzzing sensation.
  • Scented Candles: The smell of scented candles can create a relaxing and intimate atmosphere.
  • Tactile Pathways: Create a pathway with different textures to walk on or touch.
  • Sound of Nature: Integrate natural sounds like rain, wind, or ocean waves into the environment.
  • Painting on Skin: Use body paints or other safe materials to paint on each other’s skin.
  • Hot Wax Play: Drizzling warm (not hot) wax on the skin for a unique sensation (ensure it’s safe for skin use).
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Exploring sensory play is all about experimenting with what feels good and discovering new pathways to pleasure and connection. Enjoy the journey!

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3. Exploring impact play safely

Impact play, involving spanking, flogging, or paddling, can be an exhilarating part of power play.

Start softly and gradually increase intensity, always checking in with your partner. Learn the safe zones for impact (like buttocks and thighs) and steer clear of dangerous areas (like the lower back or kidneys).

And always, ALWAYS get consent before doing any impact play. Make sure the consent is specific for the action you are going to do.

Examples of wants to incorporate impact play include:

  • Punishment: Spank your partner lightly on their bum as they bend over your knee or a chair.
  • During doggy: Spank your partner’s bum with your hand as you thrust.
  • Forced oral: Slap your par tner slightly on the cheek as they give you oral sex whilst kneeling (more advanced)
  • Flogging: Tie your partner face down to a bed and use a light flogger, such as one made from goat leather. Keep the impact light. Run the stands of the flogger over their skim to introduce an element of sensory play.

And here are the types of impact play implement you can use:

  • Flogger
  • Whip
  • Cane
  • Sole of shoe
  • Hand
  • Paddle
  • Wooden spoon

4. Psychological power play

Power play isn’t just physical; it’s also a mental game.

It’s about trust, control, and surrender.

Discuss fantasies and fears with your partner, and build a scenario that plays into these emotions. This mental connection can make the physical experience more intense and fulfilling.

Here are some examples of psychological power play:

  • Mind Games: Engaging in playful or serious mental challenges that test the sub’s wit, decision-making, or obedience.
  • Humiliation Play: This can range from light teasing to more intense forms of humiliation, always within the agreed limits.
  • Control of Speech: Dictating when and how the sub can speak, including restrictions on using certain words or phrases.
  • Sensory Deprivation: Limiting one or more senses (like sight or hearing) to heighten others and create a sense of vulnerability or dependence.
  • Orgasm Control: Controlling when and if the sub can experience orgasm, often used as a form of reward or punishment.
  • Role Reversal: Temporarily switching roles to explore different dynamics and perspectives.
  • Time Manipulation: Controlling the sub’s perception of time, such as through isolation or extended periods of waiting.
  • Fear Play: Using the sub’s fears to create an intense experience, always within the realm of consent and safety.
  • Behaviour Modification: Setting rules for the sub’s behaviour, which can include manners, posture, or daily routines.
  • Restriction of Privacy: Controlling aspects of the sub’s private life, like clothing choices or social interactions, always within agreed boundaries.
  • Consensual Blackmail: A fantasy scenario where the Dom uses (agreed upon) information for leverage in the dynamic.
  • Financial Domination: A consensual exchange where the Dom controls aspects of the sub’s financial decisions.
  • Intellectual Domination: Engaging in debates or discussions where the Dom intellectually challenges the sub.
  • Consensual Non-Consent: Exploring scenarios that mimic non-consent within a safe, sane, and consensual framework.
  • Psychological Bondage: Restricting the sub’s actions or decisions through psychological means rather than physical restraints.
  • Depersonalization Techniques: Techniques like referring to the sub in the third person or as an object, used to deepen the power dynamic.
  • Hypnotic Control: Using hypnosis as a tool for deepening the power dynamic (this requires special skill and consent).
  • Chastity Play: The Dom controls the sub’s sexual activities and/or physical sexual organs.
  • Public Domination: Exercising control in public settings in discreet ways, heightening the sub’s sense of submission.
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These practices require a high level of trust and should always be approached with care, ensuring that all activities are consensual, safe, and respectful of each other’s limits and well-being.

Finding what works for you

Every individual’s kink is unique. What excites one person might not work for another.

Be open to trying different aspects of power play but also be honest about what doesn’t work for you. The goal is to find a style that feels right, respects boundaries and provides mutual satisfaction for both you and your partner.

A healthy BDSM power play dynamic involves an incredible amount of communication. The more you talk to your partner about your desires, the better it will be (as long as they are supportive and a good partner!)

Conclusion

Exploring power play is a journey of discovery, communication, and above all, enjoyment. Whether it’s through role-playing, sensory play, impact play, or exploring the psychological aspects, there’s a spectrum of experiences waiting for you.

Remember, the key to a great experience is mutual respect, clear communication, and keeping things consensual and safe.

So go ahead, find your flavour, incorporate some of the techniques above into your relationship, and enter the exciting world of power play!

The Art of Submission. A course for beginner submissives
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