Great question. If you want to make your boyfriend more dominant in bed then it starts with communication.
Have you told him you want him to be rougher with you? He can’t read your mind, and with the rise in cases of women being sexually assaulted, us guys have to tread extra carefully. We don’t want to do you harm, scare you, or be accused of abuse.
Your boyfriend’s been raised to treat everyone with respect, so why would he slap you in the bedroom? It wouldn’t even cross his mind that you might be in to that.
So first up you need to sit down and explain what you want from him, and why you want it. Describe how it makes you feel, and ask him how he feels about it.
Once you’ve shared you’re interested in being treated more roughly, and he’s on board, you can do subtle things to encourage this behaviour in him.
At first he’ll be nervous.
He may think you are trying to trick him!
His brain is so programmed to treat women with respect that he physically can’t bring himself to do anything which could be deemed as misogenistic, abusive, or putting him in a position of power.
Start small (something simple like more dominant sex positions, light spanking, or bondage). Provide constant reassurance that what he is doing to you is ok (you’ve consented) and that you are enjoying it.
As he becomes more confident, and understanding and accepting of what you want, then he willl start to naturally take the lead (if he enjoys it to).
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If he’s a naturally submissive person, then you’ve got a more difficult challenge on your hands.
Have him read No More Mr. Nice Guy and practise being assertive with you. Asking you to do things for him, making you move into certain positions, deciding on what you are doing to eat together for dinner.
It sounds like small steps, but until his self-confident develops he won’t become more dominant.
Each small step leads to a win, and soon you’ll find yourself with the dominant boyfriend you always wanted.
For more ideas, read my 5 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend More Dominant in Bed article.
