The Basics of Pet Play

Pet Play Basics in Dominant and submissive relationships

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What is pet play? It is a form of D/s relationship in which the Dominant takes on the role of Owner, Master, or Trainer, while the submissive is in the role of a pet. Much as with other D/s roles, these can be determined based on your own personality and needs. 

Pet Play roles

The Dominant in this dynamic has a great opportunity to guide the submissive’s behavior with treats and affection, or even going on walks on a leash, though other rewards can obviously be added.

Many people choose treats that go along with the role their submissive is playing, such as offering Swedish Fish to a kitten or sugar cubes to a pony.

Punishments can vary here from more common D/s punishments like paddling to more pet specific punishments like being put into a pet crate for a certain amount of time or being forced to eat and drink from bowls on the floor (though it should be noted that some pet players prefer to do this anyway to feel more within their role). 

Other activities that can be useful in this dynamic are teaching the sub to learn commands and positions based on either hand gestures or short verbal cues. This helps to keep the sub focused on pleasing their dominant and aids in getting them into the pet space frame of mind, which I will discuss later.

As opposed to using the same positions that are used with the D/s dynamic, you can use more pet specific options such as a “sit” with one’s bottom and hands on the ground, or asking your sub to offer their “paw”.

The role of the submissive can be as varied as the people who take on the role.

  • Are you a loyal Labrador?
  • A mischievous cat?
  • A magical unicorn?
  • Perhaps you identify as a combination of animals?

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There is no right or wrong answer.

The pet the submissive chooses is a representation of themselves and also tends to denote the type of submissive that they are.

The most common pets tend to be puppies, kittens, and ponies, but do not feel limited by those options!

In my D/s relationship, I identify as a kitten. I know I can be bratty and difficult at times, which seems fitting for a feline, but I also long for pets from my Dominant and hearing those magical words: “Good girl!” 

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Pet Play gear

Not everyone uses gear that is specific to pet play, but if you so wish, there are a ton of options out there.


One of the easiest and least expensive items to get started with is a pair of ears. My favorite ears are a pair that clip into my hair as they do not get in the way as much as those that are attached to a head band.

Fuzzy clothing

Some people prefer to wear something fuzzy to add the sense of touch into feeling more like a pet. This can be a sexy outfit, or something as basic as a jacket or jumper. To further the aesthetic, there are hoods, masks, and even full body suits that cover the huge range of pets out there.


Another common item that can be used is a plug with a tail attached if the sub is into anal play or tails that fasten to the clothing for more of just the aesthetic.

The DOMINIX Deluxe Stainless Steel Small Faux Silver Fox Tail Butt Plug available from LoveHoney
The DOMINIX Deluxe Stainless Steel Small Faux Silver Fox Tail Butt Plug


An assortment of gags is readily available as well that range from a bit gag for ponies, a bone shaped gag for puppies, and more. I have even come across saddles!

The Bondage Boutique Silicone Ball Gag is perfect for Pet Play
The Bondage Boutique Silicone Ball Gag is perfect for Pet Play


One of my favorite items to incorporate is a body harness with O rings. This gives my Dom more control than a collar when paired with a leash, and it is a special item specific to our pet play sessions.

Body harness with O rings for pet play
A faux leather waist harness with O rings, which could be used in pet play

Pet Space

Pet space is the particular type of sub space that the submissive can reach during this type of play.

For me, I feel allowed to completely separate myself from the stresses and expectations of daily life.

My Dom helps me reach this headspace by asking me to get my leash, having me kneel to accept it, and then He runs me through a series of commands. This ritual enforces our respective roles and gives me focus.

I find pet space particularly helpful on the occasions where I have too much on my mind. It is like a meditative state in which I can focus on letting go of everything else.

In pet space, I do not speak. I can sit quietly at my Dom’s feet, or curl up in his lap on the couch. He pets me slowly and speaks to me soothingly. My anxieties fade, and all that is left is pure submissive happiness. 

Variety in Pet Play

Though there are many people who choose pet play as the main or sole theme in their D/s dynamic, my Dom and I choose to play this way only on certain occasions.

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I like that it gives us more variety in our scenes, and offers new ways to enforce positive behaviors or to punish negative behaviors. I also appreciate the added level of self-expression that I can find through pet play.

Sometimes I don’t want to use words and would rather rub my face against my Dom’s beard, or snuggle against his shoulder as I sit by his side and get pets.

Though there is definitely still room for impact and pain, I tend to use pet play as my safe space, much as some people use the little space associated with the DD/lg dynamic. 

Try Pet Play yourself!

With that said, if you find yourself curious about the world of pet play, I highly encourage you to give it a try!

  • You may find that a new way to play can add some excitement and spice to your dynamic.
  • You may discover new ways to be kinky that you had never before explored.
  • You may even learn something new that you can incorporate into your daily life as a Dominant or a submissive.

Either way, enjoy your journey and embrace what feels right to you!

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If your pet asked to be patted over the phone,is blowing at the screen agood way to pat them? Thanks