From Bland Hookups to 6-Hour BDSM Session: Woman Ditches Vanilla Dating for Dominant Bliss

The following is a submission by a female reader based on London who emailed to share her first experience of D/s. Having felt unfulfilled in her sex life for some time, and intrigued by scenes depicted in Game of Thrones, she stumbled across the Kinky Events website and, having decided D/s was something she wanted to try, arranged to meet a Dom.

2023 was a year of sporadic dating, which whilst had fun elements, had a high degree of monotony. 

First date drinks, second date dinner and possibly end up in bed. Similar conversations each time which often focussed on my date’s personal success, sporting prowess and other entirely dull topics of conversation. On the occasions I did end up in bed with someone, the sex was largely the same and left me unfulfilled – even if my date did put the effort into making me cum, and some didn’t.

The nadir of unfulfilling sex was a New Year’s eve where I hooked up with someone at a vanilla party and took them home at 2am. The details are irrelevant but I knew that there was something else that I wanted other than a few strokes of penetrative sex after 1 minute of oral.

On the 2nd of January watching Game of Thrones, alone at home, I realised that I found elements extremely arousing. Googling around looking for Dom/sub kink communities and resources while half watching GOT I stumbled across Kinky Events. I found Chief’s podcast and listened. Back to back for hours, then read his articles. I had a life-changing realisation that Dom/Sub was what was missing for me. I felt somewhat stupid that I had not made the connection previously or perhaps even opened myself up to thinking honestly about being a sub.

Three weeks later and after some effort I found a dominant who I thought would fit what I was looking for. Stefan was 40 to my 27 years of age, communicated wonderfully, listened and responded thoughtfully over phone calls and WhatsApp.

We met for a drink on Friday in a London bar. The drink turned into several, and we set the next Saturday aside to meet for a D/s scenario. The following explains the buildup and meeting with Stefan.

The buildup

Saturday

I received an Excel spreadsheet to complete, covering a long list of activities, which I completed and added commentary to and returned to Stefan.

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Sunday

I received instructions for the week. The instructions were detailed, explicit, clear and partially based on my responses given on the spreadsheet. In essence, the instructions explained the personal preparation and dress protocol required. I was to be fully waxed on Wednesday, wear a specified Agent Provocateur thong and bra set, dress, heels. Photographs of clothing to be submitted for approval by Thursday evening.

Tuesday

Taking a half day off work, I hit Oxford Street to buy the specified lingerie and dress. I dislike shopping, but felt a curious enjoyment finding and selecting the outfit and walking home with my purchases. Normally in a Sloggi thong and bra or similarly functional underwear, this was the first time that I had bought lingerie and a dress to play in.

Wednesday

Waxing after work. ‘Hollywood – all off’ and the first wax I had had for a long time, normally shaving being a preference. Getting home, I admired the result in the mirror despite it being red and blotchy, it felt and looked good. 

Thursday

Photos sent and approval given. Outfit was laid out on my bed. I was oddly nervous that what I had bought would not be acceptable. Instead, I received praise for my efforts. That felt good.

Friday

Nervous and excited but buried myself in work to ignore the feelings.

Saturday: The Day Of

Woke up excited, nervous. Gym for run and weights. Light lunch. Thinking about what the fuck is going to happen. Light comms with Stefan during the day – simply logistics. 

2pm, long bath.

3pm, getting ready – hair, light makeup, then into lingerie, struggled with the suspenders, dress on and finally heels. Message Stefan when I was about to leave and he reminded me that we would be “in role” as soon as we met. 

4pm, Uber to the hotel.

430pm, I go to the bar as instructed, to find Stefan enjoying Peppermint tea. I am warmly invited to sit opposite him, and have tea. I am presented with a notepad and pen. Stefan asks me to write down my thoughts and feelings at that moment in time, I do so taking my time and writing nearly as instructed. I can feel him watching me, in silence, his calm feeding into making me calm.

He reads my notes in silence, not commenting on them. We finished tea and he led me through the hotel, we talked a little as we journeyed via corridor, then lift, then corridor to a suite. I addressed Stefan as Sir as we talked, and did my best to make as much eye contact as possible. 

The suite was on the corner of the hotel, plush is the only way to describe it. I was instructed to sit in an armchair in the middle of the lounge area. By this stage I had stopped being nervous and relaxed into doing what I was told. Stefan sat opposite me relatively closely, and in silence we simply looked at each other for ages in silence. Perhaps it was a minute perhaps 3 I couldn’t tell.

Then very calmly he opened a bag and showed me toys, restraints, paddles, plugs that would be used in our session, explained how they would be used and at the end reaffirmed Red, Amber and Green as safety words. I was by now, both aroused and curious wanting things to speed up, but he was measured and calm. 

At his command, I stood and was blindfolded, and a collar fastened snugly around my neck. This was the first time he had touched me and the feeling was electric even though the touches were minimal.

He then led me to the bedroom, with me reaching out with my hands because I was worried about walking into something. He stopped me and told me to stop doing that, and to trust him. I was led to the bed and placed on my back in the middle of the bed. My hands were restrained with rope to each corner of the bed and I found myself thinking can he see up my dress – a lot of my previous hookups involved alcohol and inhibitions were lower. Here I felt relaxed but there was still an edge of vulnerability.

Then my ankles were restrained into a spreader bar and using another rope attached to the head of the bed, my legs were pulled back over my shoulders, leaving my bottom totally exposed. I received praise for my lingerie, for being totally waxed, and I flooded with pride for pleasing him.

Gently, he pulled aside my thong and used lube on my bottom before inserting a plug into me. He commented on my pussy, my labia which despite being self conscious about being very lubricated by this point I enjoyed a great deal.

Checking I was comfortable with the plug and relaxed, he removed it and inserted another larger plug slowly allowing me to take it and adjust to it, praising me as he progressed. It was my first time being plugged and the process and the feeling was delicious.

Why hadn’t I done this before?

Fully plugged, restraints were removed, and again I was told to stand, still blindfolded. My dress was unzipped and removed, bra taken off and my nipples clamped, the slowly increasing clamp pressure causing pain and pleasure at the same time, new for me.

Lead reattached, I was led back into the lounge area and the blindfold was removed. Whilst the lights were not fully on it still took me time to adjust and re-orient myself.

My naked apart from my small thong, I was led to the large window and instructed to stand there for 5 timed minutes. Did people see me? I am not sure, but the pure thrill of not having a choice led me to not worrying.

The timer went off and I was sat on back in the arm chair. A large bottle of water was placed next to me and I was instructed to drink it all. As I drank we talked about how I was feeling with me following the protocol on calling him Sir in each sentence I uttered. The closeness, connection and intimacy was almost overwhelming, accentuated by constant eye contact. Moving from the widow, I had a slightly euphoric feeling, a desire to please him.

I finished the water and more was brought for me to consume. At this point one then the other nipple clamp was removed, waves of both pain and relief sweeping over me as I thanked him. 

By now I was starting to need to wee, I asked permission to go to the bathroom. Requested denied. We talked a little more before I said I was getting to the point where I really needed to go to the bathroom. Led to the bathroom, and into the walk-in shower, I removed my thong and was instructed to get on all fours and piss, and that I did, with eye contact remained.

Stefan showered me off before leading me back to the lounge where I was placed over the arm of a sofa. My plug was deflated and removed, a great feeling. Selecting a paddle as I watched, he returned and started to paddle my bottom. Increasing in intensity, checking with levels, he continued with me lost in a world of pleasure and pain. Paddling ceased, time stood still, I stayed still. My bottom felt hot, I was lost in almost nothingness in my head. 

Gently, he helped me to get up from the arm of the sofa and took me to a mirror to see my bottom. Apart from the occasional slap during doggy I had not experienced impact play before. Red, glowing I admired my bottom. 

Back to the bedroom, I was restrained tightly to all four corners of the bed in silence. The restraint was done in what I can only describe as a ritualistic way. Stefan sat between my legs and produced a wand. I guess it was set to high and I had an orgasm very quickly. Whilst I have always sopped after I had come playing with myself because it got too much, Stefan kept the wand in place. It was too much in someways, but blissful in others.

I rode from orgasm to post orgasm over sensitivity and back up again. I was loud uninhibited and kept eye contact mostly. Eventually, I had to use the safeword “Red”.

Mentally I was in a different place to anything I had experienced before. We finished the session and cuddled in bed with Stefan being fully clothed still. We talked about how I felt and the experience for an hour before it was late and time for me to leave. 

I dressed, we said goodbye and I got a taxi home. It was late. Emotionally and physically tired, I slept.

The next morning, I processed the night before. I had many many thoughts and observations (all extremely positive).

The connection and intensity was absolutely what was missing for me in my vanilla life, ceding control was just the most sublime and wonderful thing.

I hadn’t had sex. No blowjobs, no slightly awkward fumbling as with vanilla sex, yet it was the best sexual experience of my life by miles.

It lasted 6 hours, it felt like an hour.