a complete guide to cockwarming. Learn what cock warming is and how to do it
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Cockwarming: A Beginner’s Guide to the Cock Warming Kink

Cockwarming. You’ve seen it mentioned on an obscure BDSM forum and are intrigued. What is it? Who practises it?

Is it something you should be doing in your Dom and sub relationship?

I must confess I’d never heard of cockwarming (sometimes spelt ‘cock warming’) before I met my sub.

She brought it up as an idea she was keen to try, and her description intrigued me.

Some women are hesitant about giving blowjobs, and here she was offering to suck me for long periods of time, for HER pleasure!

This was something I needed to try.

What is cockwarming?

Doing a quick Google I came across a post on Reddit in the BDSMAdvice subreddit. Clearly another cockwarming fan was keen to share her experiences with the world.

The interesting thing about the responses to this request for cockwarming thoughts was that, like me, most had never heard of this BDSM practise.

And there was confusion as to what it actually was, hence why this person had to edit their original question. It wasn’t clear who was the recipient of the pleasure, or how the cock should be warmed.

Is this something a good Dom does to his sub for his pleasure, or something she does to him for her pleasure?

There’s no official definition, but here are the different ways I’ve seen people describe it.

Cockwarming by a dominant woman

The woman sits on her partner whilst she is doing something else. She might be reading or watching TV. His cock is held in her pussy or ass.

She doesn’t move and continues on with whatever activity she wants. It’s an act of domination because she isn’t allowing him to thrust or get any additional stimulation.

It’s teasing, and she is in control. She gets to see him squirm in pleasure/arousal/discomfort as he is forced to do nothing.

Admittedly I can’t see how this would work for any length of time. Without any movement I’d most likely go soft and slip out.

I guess if you are a submissive man then the very act and power dynamic in itself would keep you hard.

Cockwarming by a dominant man

The man is in charge this time. He places his cock in the mouth, pussy or ass of his sub and holds it there, not moving.

It’s dominant because the man is in a position which allows him to decide if and when he thrusts (although with cockwarming the aim is not to thrust). The sub is there to either be teased, enjoy it as an act of service, be turned on by being used, or love the pleasure of having something in her mouth.

Cockwarming can be done post-sex, pre-sex, or without any sex at all!

Post-sex

You’ve just orgasmed and your cock is still inside her. Ideally, you are in a comfortable position where you can just relax, such as missionary, flat on top, or spooning. You keep your cock inside her as it slowly returns from rock hard to flaccid and falls out of her.

Or you manage to remain rock hard and rest for a moment before going at it again in ten minutes (wish this was me!).

I think a lot of men enjoy the feeling of collapsing on their partner after an orgasm anyway, so I’m not sure this fully counts as cockwarming, because it is overtly sexual and you aren’t doing an everyday tasks whilst your cock is being warmed, but I’ve included it for completeness.

Pre-sex

You’re hard, and read to begin. You push inside her pussy or ass and hold yourself deep inside her. She may be begging you to thrust or move or give her more stimulation.

BUT you hold firm and don’t move.

You might even play with her by clenching your PC muscle to make your cock spring up and down a little bit to tickle her G-spot and drive her a little crazy.

To make it even more dominant, I recommend a position such as standing or kneeling doggy, rather than missionary. If you attempt missionary she’ll want to start kissing you.

The whole point is you are supposed to be relaxing and focussing on other things whilst your partner services you. If you were in a standing doggy position you could be playing with your phone whilst she just has to face away from you and wait, not knowing if you will ever start fucking her, or if you are just going to keep teasing her.

Oral cockwarming

This is my favourite. It is far more practical than vaginal or anal sex, where your cock is likely to become soft as you hold yourself inside her.

In oral cockwarming your sub takes you in your mouth, flaccid or erect, and simply holds still. You are engulfed by her (or as much as she can fit in her mouth), but she isn’t actively trying to make you hard, or keep your hard, or make you cum. Meanwhile, you ignore her (although light hair stroking is always pleasurable) and let her do her thing as she lets you do yours.

When I think of cockwarming, this is what I envision (and how my sub originally described it to me).

It captures (at least in my head) the true essence of what the practise of cockwarming is all about – one person doing a non-sexual activity whilst the other services their cock in a semi, but not overtly sexual way – more of an act of service or duty kind of way.

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A user who responded to the original question on Reddit also shares this version as what his girlfriend enjoyed.

She liked to constantly have me in her mouth, she’d want me to read a book or play a video games while she did her thing. At the time I just thought she was just big into oral […] but later on I realized she was just into having me in her mouth far more than actually giving head.

User: allbrokenthings

The key difference between oral cockwarming and oral sex is that during a blowjob you are sucking and moving your head up and down. With cockwarming you are simply holding the cock still in your mouth without any movement (or only a tiny bit of movement).

Holding something in your mouth isn’t usual. It causes your body to produce saliva. Consequently, you’ll have a tough time keeping completely still (this is part of the challenge) and have to move your tongue occasionally.

This sensation feels great for the guy. It punctures the otherwise light sensation of warmth with a quick, but moderate, intensity stimulation as her tongue slides over your shaft. 

Soft sucking is allowed, but remember, you aren’t giving a blowjob. As the sub you keep your head still, focus your attention on his cock, and drift off into a meditative, blissful state of subspace.

What’s the point of cockwarming?

From now on I’m only going to be talking about oral cockwarming. As a dominant man with a submissive woman, this is by far my preferred option, because it allows me to fully relax.

She unzips my trousers, pulls down my boxers, and gets on with it.

I don’t want to have to get myself hard (which requires effort), or keep myself hard inside her, or stand (which isn’t relaxing), or necessarily be in private (more on this later).

Instead, I want to be doing an everyday task, and for her to come up to me, ask if she can cockwarm, and I give her permission without having to move. She unzips my trousers, pulls down my boxers, and gets on with it.

The point of it isn’t necessarily to turn me on, although I may ebb and flow between hard and soft states as the activity progresses.

Cockwarming is meant to be:

  • An act of submission by your sub
  • A way to pacify and de-stress your sub and help her focus (mindfulness at it’s best!)
  • A turn-on because of the juxtaposition of her performing a sexual act on your whilst you all but ignore her and carry on as normal
  • A light form of foreplay to get you in the mood for sex (although not always)
  • Mainly relaxing rather than arousing
  • Perfect for submissives who have an oral fixation

The turn on for the sub (if it even is a turn on rather than relaxing) is having their Dom’s cock in their mouth at a time when they normally wouldn’t, and whilst they aren’t receiving any attention back.

And the turn on for the Dom is being able to carry on with normal tasks knowing your sub is performing a somewhat sexual act for you and using your cock as a toy to enjoy herself thoroughly.

A special shout out to littles

Are you in a DDLG relationship, or consider yourself a little?

Cockwarming is PERFECT for you.

Moineau, who would be the first to call herself a little, sums up what cockwarming means to her and why she finds it so alluring.

From the first moment I read about cockwarming I was hooked on the idea of implementing it into my physical relationship. Nursing, suckling, whatever you choose to call it, cockwarming is an under-appreciated fetish but one I most definitely have; just thinking about holding a cock in my mouth makes me salivate.

Pavlovian response? Oh yes 😉

Whilst it has the fun possibility to be sexual and arousing, I find cockwarming more so incredibly relaxing and almost meditative in the calming effect it has to my generally racing thoughts. By centring my focus solely on the cock in my mouth – feeling its weight, texture, and heat on my tongue; noticing each fluctuation of size and shape with my Dom’s arousal – it becomes very easy to slip into my role as a submissive. Add to that some nice head scratches or strokes to my back and I’m fast on my way to the beginnings of subspace!

For me cockwarming checks all the boxes: oral fixation, ddlg soothing (essentially a large pacifier), service submission and intimacy.

What’s not to like?

Moineau

What I love about this quote is the focus on the non-sexual side of cockwarming. Even though it is a sexual act, for her it is soothing, relaxing, and a way of achieving subspace or littlespace.

She does it as much for herself as for her Daddy. She is using his body to calm herself – his cock is a giant dummy.

It’s less an act of service for him, and more method to help calm her (which fits better into the DDLG dynamic a little loves, more than a Master/slave dynamic).

When is the best time for cockwarming?

You can practise cockwarming whenever you want! But personally I love it in the following situations:

  • In the morning as I wake up. As I’m snoozing she slides under the covers and takes me in her mouth. It’s a delightful way to start the day.
  • At my desk as I work. I might be on my laptop writing this very article at my desk. She’s on her knees under the desk. My fly is unzipped and she’s gently nuzzling me.
  • On the sofa as I watch TV (her lying). There’s a show on I love but she doesn’t care for. A perfect time for her to lie on the sofa with her head in my lap, as I sit upright and have my cock warmed. This position allows me to reach over and touch her breasts, pussy and squeeze her ass mindlessly as I continue to watch the TV. This position only works if you have a large sofa and she can get comfortable. You might also be able to work in this position.
  • On the sofa as I watch TV (her kneeling). A variation on the above is to have her kneel on the floor in front of you and cockwarm you. You don’t have to watch TV either. You could be on your phone or reading a book. Bonus points if you leave a comment on this article whilst you are being cockwarmed ;). Probably my favourite out of all the cockwarming positions as it is the most comfortable for me and can be done for long periods of time.
  • You standing, her kneeling. Not as comfortable as sitting for you, but it can be done. I like this version of cockwarming at kinky parties. You could be standing around chatting to your kinky friends, acting as though nothing out of the ordinary is happening, as she has your cock inside her mouth. For bonus points tie her hands behind her back so she isn’t tempted to start playing with you (although I do enjoy my balls being lightly held during the process).
  • Her restrained, you kneeling over her/lying under her. Get out your under bed restraints, strap her down face up, and straddle her face. For a more comfortable position, restrain her face down, then sit at the top of the bed with your back resting on the headboard, your legs over or under her outstretched arms, and her head in your crotch. Be careful with this one as she may strain her neck. You might want to prop her up slightly with a pillow under her chest.
  • In public. Getting pretty frisky now aren’t we! I haven’t personally done these (hope to!), but I love imagining the scenarios:
    • Sitting in a jacuzzi (hot tub) with a number of friends. Your sub sits on your lap (“to make room”) and you slip your cock inside her. Because there isn’t any movement, no one else in the tub will be any the wiser (although they might have suspicions). It’s not an example of oral cockwarming, but still hot.
    • At a kink event. I’m sitting on a sofa chatting with friends as my sub cockwarms me.
    • At a restaurant. You know those fancy restaurants with the white table cloths that extend all the way to the floor? Now imagine your sub under said table warming your cock. Also works at weddings ;).
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How long should you cockwarm for?

I’ve had cockwarming sessions that vary between five minutes to thirty minutes at the time of writing. It depends on how worked up I get by the whole thing.

I’m not saying thirty minutes is a hard limit. I want to try for longer. Could she cockwarm me for an entire film at the cinema, for example? That would be very fun (and risky).

I don’t know the limits of her body. I’m not sure if holding something in your mouth for that long a time would result in muscle ache, or saliva overload, or some weird adverse reaction.

I guess you’ll have to give it a go and see what your limits are. If you’re both enjoying the act then keep going!

It would be a fun game to incorporate cockwarming into your slave training programme, attempting to beat your previous record each time, or setting her a target of X minutes of cockwarming per week which she has to fit in however she chooses.

Cockwarming as punishment

There are some women out there who love giving blowjobs. The feeling of a rock-hard dick in their mouth, which they expertly milk dry, is incredibly satisfying.

If your sub is one of these people, then having your cock in their mouth is going to turn them on, no doubt.

Now imagine you tell them they can’t move their head, can’t make you come, and afterwards you’re not going to fuck them, even though they will be horny as hell.

They’ll find themselves up to a point where they are begging you to bend them over, but you look them sternly in the eye and say “No”. (You have to be strong enough to resist fucking them though – not so easy once you’ve been nicely warmed!).

Sounds like a form of torture to me, (For you and her!) which makes it a great sexual punishment.

Get warming!

So there it is. The most comprehensive guide to cockwarming on the Internet!

(I don’t know this to be true, but I couldn’t find a good article on it, or many cockwarming stories, so I thought I’d write one and proclaim it as the best). If I’ve left anything out or missed any resources, let me know in the comments.

In summary, cockwarming can be many things. A form of meditation, an act of service by a slave for her Master, a way to pacify a little in a DDLG relationship, a fun BDSM game, or a demonstration of submission by a sub to her dom.

Go give it a try.

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2 Comments

  1. Cumdump says:

    My record so far is about 4 hours I’ve also napped while doing so. Usually it ends with him finishing in my throat but there is always at least a couple hours of cockwarming first. It’s my absolute favorite thing.

    1. 4 hours of warming sounds divine. I’m not sure I’d be patient enough to hold off that long.

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