Just what is a BDSM relationship?
What does it involve?
What sort of people participate?
You’ve got so many questions, and we’ve got the answers. Read on to find out what a BDSM relationship is and if you might enjoy it.
What does a BDSM relationship entail?
BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism.
A BDSM relationship is therefore a relationship in which one or more of those six elements is incorporated consensually.
Every BDSM relationship is different, just like every regular relationship is different. One couple might enjoy bondage whereas another might be more into pain and punishment.
This website is primarily about BDSM relationships who’s focus is on dominance and submission, sometimes referred to as D/s or Dom/sub.
Who enjoys BDSM relationships?
If you like this article, you’ll love…
Sensational Scenes
How to heighten arousal, induce Subspace, and have mind-blowing sexual experiences.
Anyone! It doesn’t matter your age, gender, or sexual orientation. As long as you have an interested in some aspect of BDSM and are willing to partake in it consensually, then you might enjoy introducing BDSM into your relationship.
In the Kinky Events community we have people from all walks of life who are interested in developing their own style of BDSM relationship with a focus on one person being the Dominant and one being the submissive.
How do I get started?
Here’s a few tips to help you get started.
1. Understand consent
I can’t stress this one enough. Nobody should be practising BDSM unless they understand consent. BDSM is a high risk activity and there’s potential for both emotional and physical abuse. Don’t let yourself become involved in this unhealthy style of relationship. The short video below will help clarify what consent means.
2. Learn to communicate
A good BDSM relationship is built around great communication. You must effectively communicate what it is about BDSM you enjoy to your partner, and be able to listen to their views on the subject. BDSM is just too vast for you to guess at each others preferences. To aid communication I suggest you both complete a sex menu. You can download my free template in my article all about sex menus.
3. Keep an open mind
As you begin to explore you’ll discover things you love which you thought you’d hate, and things you hate which you thought you’d love. A BDSM relationship should continue to evolve as you learn what you and your partner enjoy. Also, don’t judge. Your partner may have fantasies you don’t enjoy – learn to embrace those. You don’t have to act them out, but you shouldn’t be critical of them. Likewise, your partner should listen to what you enjoy without judgement.
4. Remember the normal relationship stuff!
At the end of the day BDSM relationships are regular relationships with BDSM activities thrown in. The vast majority of those involved in BDSM don’t live it 24 hours a day. There’s still time for movie nights, eating out at restaurants, and curling up on the sofa together. If you are into dominance and submission you can still have an undercurrent of D/s running through your dynamic should you choose.
5. Introduce BDSM into the bedroom
Most people start by introducing BDSM activities into the bedroom during sex. What these are will depend upon your preferences, but light spanking, bondage, rope bondage, hair pulling, teasing, edging, honourifics, dirty talk, and light power play are good places to start.
6. Check-in
It’s good to check-in with your partner regularly to ensure that you both still want to participate in a BDSM relationship. I’ve seen situations where one person is super in to it, and the other is just going along with it because they are worried their partner will leave them if they don’t. This isn’t a good place to be, so make sure both of you are really interested in pursuing this type of relationship once you’ve tried a few elements of BDSM out.
BDSM relationships are perfect who those into any aspect of kink and want a way to experience more pleasure with their partner. I hope you’ve found the tips above helpful, and I enjoy hearing about your successes!
