We were meeting another submissive woman to see if we could incorporate someone else into our kinky play, and perhaps even relationship.
I arrived at the hotel bar after work and sat down with a Diet Coke. My phone was dead so I had no way of knowing where the two women were.
Nica arrived first.
It was the first time we’d met, but she came through the door I’d positioned myself in front of. We recognised each other instantly from the online photos.
I’d matched with Nica on Feeld, and online dating app for sex-positive people, many of whom are in open relationships. She was a 39 year old dark haired brunette, around 5′ 5′ with a curvy figure.
The conversation was easy.
Dates can be awkward affairs. But we were both so interested in kink that after a bit of small talk, we got down to discussing the fun stuff. Where she’d met her partner, what kinky events she’d been to, and her relationship history.
In the middle of all this Moineau arrived.
I introduced the two and we picked up the conversation where it left off.
I wondered if people around us knew this was a couple on a date with another woman. But honestly it just felt like a group of three friends chatting. Nothing about our appearance of body language gave our secret away.
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I didn’t feel nervous or weird. In fact, in felt completely normal talking about our kinks and what we enjoyed together.
I wouldn’t have described Nica as a classic sub.
She was definitely more the ‘dominant personality outside the bedroom and submissive in it’ type, unlike Mouineu who is submissive most of the time (although that doesn’t mean she doesn’t do her job of caring for others extremely well).
Moineau enjoyed talking to another sub. It was the first chance she’d had to chat to one.
It’s a lonely world as a kinkster.
You can’t talk to your vanilla friends about what you get up to. Having kinky friends is important as an outlet. It also means if your partner leaves, you still have that support group, some attachment to the kink world which I’d had pulled out from under me before when I’ve stopped dating someone, and they are the ones with all the kinky friends, not me.
I’ve had to go back to basics and build a new one from scratch.
Although Moineau and I would like to meet someone to join us in the bedroom and at parties, we are also looking for people to meet to build our kink social circles.
Perhaps that’s a more important goal.
I’m not feeling all that attracted to Nica, but I enjoyed the chat.
The night wraps up after about 90 minutes. It’s getting towards 10 PM on a Wednesday and we all have work tomorrow.
Nica leaves, shortly followed by Moineau and I who head home together.
On the way I check in with Moineau to see how she felt, if she enjoyed herself. She seemed to.
Checking in with a partner is fundamental in a non-vanilla relationship, even more so when you are involving a third person. Knowing everyone is consenting rather than feeling pressured to do something is very important.
Threesome dating, just like regular dating, is full of dead ends and requires effort to make work.
I doubt we’ll end up sleeping with Nica. The sexual chemistry isn’t there. But it was a fun evening nonetheless.
