The CNC Kink: Consensual Non-Consent Ultimate BDSM Guide

Consensual non-consent (often shortened to CNC) is a kink where partners consensually agree to role-play a scenario that mimics non-consent. It sounds intense, but everything is carefully negotiated beforehand to ensure safety and mutual enjoyment.

And oh boy. It’s definitely a topic which can sure ruffle a few feathers, particularly for those who don’t understand that BDSM is 90% about consent and communication.

But…chances are, if you are reading an article about what consensual non-consent is then you are open-minded, curious, and intrigued by the idea. Perhaps you heard it mentioned in porn or erotic fiction and you want to know what the hell it is? Or you already know what it is and just want to engross yourself in all things smut, you little perv (my people!).

Either way, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Moineau and I fairly often incorporate CNC into our play (which you’ll be aware of if you listen to my podcast Conversations with a Dom. And if you don’t…why not!? ;)). As I write this mini guide I’ll try and incorporate my experiences of consensual non-consent, as well as practical tips you can use.

What is a CNC kink?

CNC, or consensual non-consent, involves sexual dynamics where partners simulate a lack of consent in a controlled and consensual environment. This can take the form of being “forced” to engage in sexual acts, simulating resistance, or other power-play dynamics.

Despite the appearance of non-consent, both parties have fully agreed to the scenario and can stop the play at any time using a safeword or other signals.

For those of you who are anti-CNC, please read that last line again.

CNC IS CONSENSUAL. Everyone involved is ACTING as though there is no consent.

It’s just like when two adults role play a sexual scenario dressed up as doctor and nurse, or nurse and patient. They know they aren’t actually qualified in those professions, but the simulation of it is all that is needed for it to be a turn-on.

CNC is a subset of BDSM. My website focuses on couples who want to incorporate dominance and submissions into their relationships, and I view consensual non- consent as one way to incorporate those elements.

It’s a way for partners to explore fantasies that might feel taboo in real life, but are safe and consensual when done with clear boundaries.

Example from my D/s dynamic

Moineau enjoys the thrill of being overpowered, and I enjoy the thought of being able to use her body for my own pleasure whenever I wish (I like objectification – sue me). This makes CNC highly arousing for both of us

In our D/s dynamic we have a ‘free use’ rule which means I can have sex with her whenever I wish. This was agreed upon mutually, and either of us can revoke the consent at any time.

When I wake up early in the morning, stiff as anything, and roll over to feel her naked bum right next to me, you can guess what comes next. I push her over onto her stomach and mount her.

This arrangement taps into elements of consensual non-consent (albeit in a relatively tame way). I have her pinned down so even if she did struggle to get away she wouldn’t be able to. I’m also able to increase the intensity of the scene by placing one hand around her throat, or to cover her mouth, or to pin her arms down.

What does CNC look like during sex?

CNC can take on many different forms depending on what you enjoy and have agreed upon with your partner.

At Kinky Events we don’t push one type of dominance of submission style. I’m all about you discovering what turns you on, talking to your partner about it, and if there is a mutual interest to start exploring slowly.

That means that how you do CNC might be completely different to how I do it.

But, to give you some ideas, here’s some ways you can try it:

• Hold them down. Pull their hair. Hold their throat. Pin them down with your weight. Generally manhandle them, making them feel like they have no way out, and you are completely in control.
• Resistance play. The submission partner doesn’t have to just lie there and take it. You might enjoy the act of attempting to break free, or telling your partner ‘no’ or ‘stop’. Sidenote: This is why having a safeword is essential. You need to know when your partner really wants you to stop versus acting like they want you to stop to heighten their experience.
• Dirty talk. During sex you can ramp up the intensity with dirty talk. “Stop moving”, “Be a good boy and just take it”, “Don’t even think about screaming”, “I could do anything to you right now and you wouldn’t be able to stop me”. The more you understand why your partner enjoys CNC, the better you’ll be able to weave those themes into your dirty talk.
• Cuckolding. Although this is more to do with humiliation, it could be classified as CNC if you both act as though one partner is forcing the other to watch them have sex with someone else.
• Bondage. Some like rope bondage just for the art of the way the rope feels on the skin – it makes them relax. For others, they enjoy it because they can’t escape, and know they are at the mercy of their partner. Using rope or restraints as part of the CNC scenario can enhance it.
• Knife and gun play. More towards the extreme end of CNC. Some enjoy the feeling of being in a life threatening situation. Think about being tied up and a knife (please use a fake one!) run across the skin, or be forced to perform sex acts on someone or else…

There’ll be more example CNC scenarios for you to try out later in this article.

Example from my D/s dynamic

Good consensual non-consent scenes come from excellent communication. You have to know what both parties are into before you begin.

Several years ago I ended up in bed with a woman who said “just do anything to me”. This is not good communication. I very much doubt she really meant I could do anything to her. She would have had a set of limits and boundaries, as well as turns ons, in her head. But she hadn’t communicated them to me. Therefore I was scared to do anything to her.

I tell this story because some of you reading this will think telling your partner to ‘just do anything to me’ is hot and that’s you consenting to CNC. It is kinda hot, I’m not going to lie, but it isn’t helpful to your partner.

So make sure to be explicit and detailed in what CNC means to you, what’s in limits and what’s not. It’ll make your partner more comfortable, ensures consent, and you are likely to get hotter sex in the long run.

Practical tip: Start small

If you’re new to CNC, you don’t have to jump into extreme scenarios right away. Start small with light bondage, restraint, or role-playing mild resistance. You can gradually build up intensity as you become more comfortable.

Why are people into CNC?

People are drawn to CNC for a variety of reasons, but a few common themes include:

• The thrill of power exchange: For some, it’s about surrendering control in a safe, consensual way. The submissive can give up their agency during the scene, knowing they’re still in control of the limits.
• Taboo exploration: CNC taps into fantasies that feel taboo. For many, exploring these in a controlled setting adds to the excitement. For me personally, this is why I enjoy consensual non-consent. I’ve always enjoyed trying new things, and exploring taboo activities.
• Heightened pleasure: Pain and fear can activate similar responses in the nervous system as sexual arousal, which can intensify sensations during CNC play.
• Reclaiming control: Survivors of sexual trauma may use CNC to reclaim power over experiences that were once beyond their control. In a CNC scene, they hold the ability to stop or change the scenario, turning the experience into one of empowerment rather than victimization. I’m no psychologist so I can’t verify whether this helps or hinders. If you are in any doubt please speak to a trained professional (ideally one that understands BDSM).

If you’re concerned about why you are aroused by consensual non-consent, I would ask you – does it really matter? You can’t change what turns you on (ok maybe some electro-shock therapy or a lobotomy would do it), so accept it. The reason isn’t that important.

Having said that, I do believe it can be useful to understand what the core desire (ie how you want to feel) might be. In my case, the desire to be wanted is a core desire. CNC (where my partner allows me to take them whenever I want) taps into that – because if they weren’t really in to me why on earth would they agree to CNC?

Here’s an exercise you can try to uncover your core desires, if that’s of interest to you.

Practical tip: Talk about the why

Before trying CNC, have an honest conversation with your partner about why this kink appeals to you. Is it about exploring power dynamics, letting go, or pushing boundaries? This conversation helps clarify motivations and ensures both partners are on the same page.

It may help you to complete a Sex Menu. You can find a template on this website with 350+ activities to choose from.

How common are CNC kinks?

CNC kinks are more common than you might think. Research shows that many people fantasize about power dynamics in sexual situations. For example, a survey found that 61% of women, 54% of men, and 68% of non-binary individuals have had fantasies related to forced sex or CNC.

• Over half of women and men fantasise about CNC: Studies show that 61% of women and 54% of men report having fantasies related to CNC. This data comes from sex researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller, who surveyed over 4,000 Americans about their sexual fantasies for his book Tell Me What You Want.
• CNC isn’t gender specific: Lehmiller’s research also found that 68% of non-binary individuals have had CNC-related fantasies, highlighting that this kink is not limited by gender or sexual orientation.

This doesn’t mean people want to experience these things in real life without consent. It’s about exploring a fantasy that can feel exhilarating when done safely.

How to safely practice consensual non-consent

CNC can be risky if not handled carefully, so safety and communication are crucial. Here’s how to ensure your CNC play is safe and enjoyable for both partners.

1. Set clear boundaries

Before engaging in CNC, have a detailed discussion with your partner about boundaries. These include:

• Hard limits: Acts that are completely off-limits (e.g., no choking, no anal play).
• Soft limits: Activities that might be okay under certain conditions but require caution.
• Safe words: A word or signal that either partner can use to stop the scene immediately. Since words like “no” or “stop” are often part of CNC play, choose an unrelated word to signal a real stop. I personally like the traffic light system, where ‘Red’ means immediate stop. I also recommend you have a non-verbal safeword. Sometimes the submissive will enter subspace and be unable to speak, or be gagged in a scene and won’t be able to use the safeword.
• Scene outline. It can be helpful to discuss a brief outline of what will happen during the scene. For example, the dominant might say “Tonight I’m planning a scene where I tie you up as though you’ve been kidnapped, and whilst waiting for the money I’m going to force you to be my sex slave”. That way the submissive has a general idea of what to expect and can voice any concerns ahead of time.

Example from my dynamic

An ex-girlfriend wanted me to break into her flat in the middle of the night and have sex with her. I loved how clear she was in what she wanted. By telling me her fantasy, and us agreeing on potential nights when the ‘break- in’ would happen, I was able to help her make it come true. There was a structure, and the logistics could be arranged (such as her giving me a set of keys so I didn’t actually have to break-in) but there was enough vagueness for it to feel somewhat organic and non-consensual.

2. Consider creating a contract

Some couples create a CNC contract that outlines what’s allowed, what’s off- limits, and what to do if someone changes their mind. This doesn’t have to be formal, but writing things down can help clarify expectations and ensure that both partners are comfortable before starting.

Note: A contract is not legally binding. If something goes wrong during CNC don’t think you can whip out your BDSM contract and the judge will let you off. A contract is just there as a tool to aid with consent, as well as being something which some couples find a turn on.

Have a look at my article on BDSM contracts for beginners.

3. Determine safewords and signals

Because CNC often involves ignoring protests like “no” or “stop,” it’s essential to have safewords. Use a word that’s easy to remember and won’t naturally come up during the scene, like “red” to stop and “yellow” to slow down.

For non-verbal safewords, you can use physical signals like tapping your partner twice if your mouth is gagged or you’re otherwise unable to speak.

If you are going to play with extreme CNC, then I also like to have the sub hold a small yet weighty object they can drop if they get into trouble. If I hear it land on the floor then that’s the equivalent of calling ‘Red’.

4. Don’t hesitate to speak out

CNC is only enjoyable when both partners feel safe. If something doesn’t feel right, use your safeword, and don’t hesitate to stop the scene. Your comfort and trust in your partner are more important than continuing a scene that doesn’t feel right.

I highly, highly recommend you don’t engage in CNC with a partner you’ve just met. If you haven’t known your partner long then you may not feel comfortable explaining what you want from CNC, or speaking up when something isn’t going the way you want.

Plus, knowing that the person you are playing with will stop when you call your safeword is essential – would you trust someone to do that if you only met them a few hours previously? That isn’t enough time to understand their character and assess if they are someone trustworthy who really understands the role of the Dominant in BDSM, and consent.

Practical tip: Test your boundaries

Before diving into a full CNC scene, test your boundaries with smaller acts like role-playing mild resistance or using a blindfold. This helps build trust and lets you explore what works for both of you.

CNC scene ideas

Exploring consensual non-consent (CNC) scenes can be as creative and varied as you and your partner want. Below is a list of CNC scene ideas that range from light role-play to more intense scenarios. Always remember to set boundaries, establish safewords, and prioritize communication before diving into any CNC scene.

1. Hostage situation

One partner plays the role of a captor, taking the other hostage. The “hostage” is restrained and made to comply with the captor’s demands. This can include interrogation, threats of punishment, or mock ransom negotiations.

Variation: The hostage could attempt to escape, only to be caught and “forced” to submit again.

2. Kidnap acenario

The dominant partner stages a mock kidnapping, complete with blindfolds, restraints, and relocation to another room or a different location. The submissive might be “abducted” from their home or “ambushed” while out.

Variation: Use a ski mask or gloves to heighten the feeling of anonymity and surprise.

3. Boss forcing worker

A classic power-play scenario where one partner plays the strict, demanding boss, while the other is a worker who must submit to keep their job. The dominant might use the threat of firing or withholding a promotion as leverage.

Variation: The boss could “force” the employee to work late or perform other tasks as part of their submission.

4. Home invasion

One partner plays the role of an intruder, breaking into the home where the submissive is waiting or unaware. The submissive is “caught” off-guard and restrained as the intruder asserts control.

Variation: The scene could involve “searching” the submissive for hidden valuables or “taking them hostage” within their own home.

5. Prison guard and inmate

The dominant plays the role of a prison guard with full control over their inmate, dictating when they eat, sleep, or are punished. The submissive, as the inmate, must comply or face consequences.

Variation: The inmate could attempt to rebel or escape, only to be “caught” and forced back into submission.

6. Doctor and unwilling patient

The dominant partner plays a doctor or medical professional, while the submissive is an unwilling patient. The submissive is forced to comply with “examinations” or medical procedures they may resist.

Variation: Incorporate role-play tools like gloves, stethoscopes, or restraints to enhance the medical theme.

7. Interrogation scene

The dominant plays a law enforcement officer or agent, interrogating the submissive, who may have “information” they refuse to give. The dominant uses light intimidation, physical control (e.g., tying the submissive to a chair), or psychological pressure to get the information.

Variation: The submissive could play along by resisting with a cover story, creating more tension and a longer scene.

8. Breaking and training

The submissive is a “wild” character who needs to be “broken” and trained by the dominant to obey. This could involve restraints, sensory deprivation, or forced submission exercises until the submissive “gives in.”

Variation: This scene can unfold over several sessions, with the dominant progressively asserting more control as the submissive learns to “behave.”

9. Army interrogation

One partner plays a strict military officer, and the other is an enemy combatant or captured soldier. The officer demands information and compliance, using light threats or “punishments” to get the submissive to obey.

Variation: Role-play using army props like dog tags, uniforms, or even mock orders and commands.

10. Stalker and target

One partner is the dominant stalker, following and watching their “target” (the submissive). The scene could involve the stalker finally confronting the submissive, “forcing” them into submission after a chase.

Variation: The submissive could play along by pretending to flee or hide, increasing the tension before they’re caught.

11. Captured by pirates

The submissive is a victim of a pirate raid, captured by the dominant pirate. The pirate might tie up or restrain the submissive, demanding submission in exchange for their freedom or safety.

Variation: The scene can include themed props like ropes, swords, or pirate costumes for added immersion.

12. Police officer and suspect

The dominant is a strict police officer arresting the submissive for a “crime.” The submissive could be “frisked,” handcuffed, and interrogated. The officer uses their authority to assert control and demand compliance.

Variation: The officer could threaten additional punishments if the submissive resists arrest.

13. Victorian master and servant

Set in a historical setting, one partner plays the role of the stern master or mistress of the house, while the submissive is an unwilling servant who is forced to obey orders. The dominant might punish the submissive for disobedience or laziness.

Variation: Period clothing, old-fashioned props, and a setting like a library or drawing room could enhance the scene.

14. Captured spy

The dominant captures the submissive, who plays a spy caught in the act. The dominant demands information or submission through interrogation or light threats. The submissive tries to resist giving away any secrets.

Variation: The spy could be blindfolded or gagged to prevent them from speaking until they “give in.”

15. Bully and victim

One partner plays the role of a school bully, using intimidation to force the submissive into doing what they want. The submissive might initially resist, only to “give in” as the dominant asserts control.

Variation: This scene can play on the psychological aspect of intimidation and submission, with verbal commands or light physical restraint.

Practical tip: Start slow and build up

If you’re new to CNC, start with lighter scenes like the boss/worker dynamic or interrogation play. These allow for power exchanges without diving into more intense physical scenarios. As you and your partner grow more comfortable, you can try out more immersive scenes like kidnapping or home invasion.

This list is just a starting point, and you can modify or combine these scenarios to suit your preferences. Always keep communication open, establish boundaries, and make use of safewords to ensure everyone feels safe and respected during the scene.

Toys for a CNC scene

When exploring consensual non-consent (CNC), incorporating toys can enhance the experience by adding to the physical and psychological intensity. Depending on your comfort level and boundaries, here are some toys commonly used in CNC scenes, along with tips for their safe use.

1. Blindfolds

A blindfold can heighten sensations by taking away the submissive partner’s sense of sight. In a CNC scene, this can amplify the feeling of vulnerability or “helplessness,” allowing the dominant partner to take more control. The anticipation of what’s coming next can also build arousal.

Tip: Start slow by using the blindfold for short periods, checking in verbally to ensure comfort. Always use a soft material that doesn’t irritate the skin.

2. Restraints

Restraints, such as handcuffs, rope, or bondage tape, are frequently used in CNC scenes to simulate being “overpowered” or unable to escape. They can be used to tie wrists, ankles, or even bind the submissive to a bed or chair, increasing the sense of being controlled.

Tip: Ensure that the restraints are not too tight and never restrict blood flow. Always have safety scissors on hand to quickly release the restrained person if needed. Learning basic bondage safety techniques is crucial.

3. Gags

Gags, like ball gags or bit gags, can be used in CNC scenes to enhance the feeling of powerlessness. The submissive may feel silenced or unable to verbally protest, adding a layer of intensity to the role-play.

Tip: Because gags limit the ability to speak, it’s essential to have a non-verbal safeword (like tapping a surface or using a specific hand gesture). Be mindful of your partner’s breathing and comfort, and don’t use gags for extended periods, especially if they are not used to them.

4. Impact toys (floggers, paddles, crops)

Impact play tools like floggers, paddles, and riding crops can be used to simulate forced submission through physical dominance. These toys add physical sensations to the scene, ranging from light taps to more intense spanking, depending on your agreed-upon limits.

Tip: Start gently and increase intensity slowly. Always aim for fleshy areas like the buttocks or thighs, avoiding sensitive spots like the spine, kidneys, or neck. Communication is key to making sure the level of intensity is enjoyable for both partners.

5. Vibrators or dildos

In CNC scenes, a dominant partner might use vibrators or dildos to simulate forced pleasure or overstimulation. This can be a form of control, where the submissive feels overwhelmed by pleasure without being able to stop it (again, always consensually).

Tip: Discuss how and when these toys will be used. If overstimulation is part of the scene, be clear about limits, and use safewords if the experience becomes too intense.

6. Collars and leashes

Collars and leashes can symbolize ownership or submission and are often used in BDSM and CNC scenes. The dominant partner might use a leash to control their partner’s movements, pulling them into certain positions or guiding them physically.

Tip: Collars should always be comfortable and fitted correctly–never too tight. Leashes can add psychological intensity, but should be used with care to avoid pulling too hard or causing injury.

7. Sensory deprivation toys

In addition to blindfolds, sensory deprivation can include earplugs or noise- canceling headphones to heighten vulnerability. When a submissive is unable to see or hear, their anticipation and arousal can increase, making every touch more intense.

Tip: Like with blindfolds, use sensory deprivation toys for short periods at first. Constantly check in, especially if you’re cutting off multiple senses at once.

8. Nipple clamps or other sensation toys

Nipple clamps, pinwheels, or other sensation-based toys can be incorporated into CNC scenes for added intensity. The combination of mild pain or discomfort with the power dynamics at play can heighten the submissive partner’s feelings of helplessness.

Tip: Start with adjustable clamps to control the pressure, and always check for circulation and comfort. Sensation toys should be used gradually to avoid overwhelming your partner.

CNC aftercare

Aftercare is essential following any intense BDSM scene, but it’s especially important after CNC because the emotions involved can be overwhelming. Aftercare helps both partners come back to reality and feel safe and reassured.

What does aftercare look like?

• Physical comfort: Cuddling, holding hands, or just being close can help bring both partners down from the intensity of the scene.
• Emotional check-ins: Talk about what you liked, what was intense, and whether anything didn’t go as planned.
• Rehydration and rest: Sometimes aftercare involves practical things like drinking water, eating a snack, or resting.

For some, aftercare might not be necessary, while others find it critical. Discuss what works best for both of you beforehand.

Read the article 5 Things You Should Know About Aftercare.

Example from my dynamic:

Moineau often goes into subspace following an intense scene. Our aftercare involves cuddling, and lying in silence for 10-20 minutes whilst she recovers. After that I check she’s ok, and ask if she wants a drink or snack.

Practical tip: Debrief post-scene

After the scene, take time to debrief with your partner. Discuss what went well, what could be improved, and how both of you are feeling emotionally and physically.

How to bring up CNC with your partner

Talking about CNC can be intimidating, especially if you’re unsure how your partner will react.

Here’s how to approach the conversation:

• Start by exploring fantasies together: Begin by discussing your sexual desires in a non-pressuring way. Ask your partner what fantasies they have and share your own.
• Ease into it: Instead of saying, “I want to try CNC,” you can start with something like, “I’ve been curious about exploring power dynamics in the bedroom. How do you feel about that?”
• Use a Yes/No/Maybe list: You and your partner can each fill out a list of activities you’re interested in, are open to trying, or are a hard no. It’s a non-confrontational way to figure out where your boundaries overlap. Check out my guide to a sex menu here.

For more tips on bringing up kink with your partner, check out How to Talk to a Partner About Your Kinky Desires Without Fear (8 Proven Steps).

Pros and cons of consensual non-consent

Like any kink, CNC has its pros and cons. Here’s what to consider:

Pros:

• Increased intimacy: Exploring such a vulnerable fantasy with a trusted partner can strengthen your connection.
• Heightened sensation: The thrill of giving up control or “forcing” your partner can make the experience more intense.
• Fantasy fulfillment: For many, CNC allows them to safely explore fantasies they wouldn’t want in real life.

Cons:

• Emotional risks: CNC can bring up difficult emotions, especially for those with past trauma. It’s important to communicate and check in with each other before, during, and after the scene.
• Physical risks: Some CNC activities can lead to injuries, especially if physical force is involved. Be mindful of your partner’s limits and take care to avoid accidental harm.
• Requires trust: You should only practice CNC with someone you trust completely, especially more hardcore CNC scenes.

Consensual non-consent FAQ

Is CNC normal?

Yes, CNC fantasies are common and completely normal. Many people fantasize about power dynamics or rough sex in a safe, consensual setting.

Does CNC mean I want to be assaulted?

No. CNC is a fantasy where the appearance of non-consent is acted out, but everything is consensual and pre-negotiated. It doesn’t mean you want non- consensual acts in real life.

Can CNC be dangerous?

CNC can be risky if not practiced with clear communication, trust, and safewords. However, when all parties are fully informed, set boundaries, and use safeguards like safewords, the risks of CNC are greatly reduced. It’s essential to understand and respect limits to prevent physical or emotional harm.

Is CNC only for experienced BDSM practitioners?

No, CNC can be explored by beginners as long as both partners are comfortable, communicate clearly, and take safety seriously. Starting with lighter forms of power dynamics or small role-plays can help new participants ease into the kink.

How do I know if CNC is right for me?

If the idea of power play, control exchange, or surrendering control excites you, CNC might be worth exploring. However, it’s important to have a clear sense of your boundaries, communicate openly with your partner, and start slowly to see how it feels before diving into more intense scenes.

What if my partner isn’t into CNC?

If your partner isn’t comfortable with CNC, it’s essential to respect their boundaries. You can explore other aspects of BDSM or power dynamics that might appeal to both of you. Open, honest discussions about desires are crucial in any relationship, but consent from both parties is non-negotiable.

What if I feel guilty for enjoying CNC fantasies?

It’s common for people to feel conflicted or guilty about enjoying CNC fantasies due to societal misconceptions. Remember that fantasies are a natural part of sexuality, and enjoying CNC doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. As long as everything is consensual, safe, and enjoyable for both parties, there’s no reason to feel guilty.

Concluding this CNC guide

Consensual non-consent (CNC) is one of the most intense–and sometimes misunderstood–kinks out there. But when practiced with trust, open communication, and clear boundaries, it can unlock a whole new layer of intimacy and excitement. From classic power-play fantasies to out-there role- plays, CNC gives couples the space to explore vulnerable fantasies safely, with everyone on board.

If you and your partner are thinking about diving into CNC, take it slow. Start with honest conversations about what you each want to get out of it, set firm boundaries, and decide on safewords or signals that work for both of you. While CNC scenes can bring all kinds of thrill and adventure to your dynamic, the foundation always needs to be trust, consent, and mutual respect.

Done right, CNC can be an incredible way to connect. With each scene, you’ll be exploring new sides of yourselves, tapping into the excitement of shared fantasies, and strengthening the trust that brings you closer. So if you’re ready to spice things up, enjoy the ride–and keep things open, honest, and most importantly, consensual.

Key takeaways

• Communication is key: Start by discussing fantasies, boundaries, and expectations with your partner.
• Safety first: Agree on safewords and non-verbal signals to ensure you can always check in or stop if needed.
• Start slow: Begin with less intense scenes to get comfortable before moving to more elaborate scenarios.
• Respect boundaries: Always respect agreed-upon limits and remember that consent is ongoing.
• Prioritise aftercare: Take time to reconnect after a scene; this strengthens trust and deepens intimacy.

These takeaways will help make CNC not just thrilling, but also safe and satisfying for both of you.