Looking to spice up your sex life? Bed restraints are a great way to do just that. They are pieces of BDSM kit no dominant should be without.
In this guide, we’ll tell you how they can be used, and some things to look out for when you want to buy under bed restraints for your home because they aren’t all created equal!
What are under bed restraints?
Under bed restraint systems (sometimes referred to as under mattress restraints) are bondage restraints designed for sexual roleplay and bed bondage, where one partner is the dominant one and ties their submissive to the bed in order to dominate her sexually.
They are usually made from straps in the shape of an X (but you can get double strap versions – see below), with D rings on their ends, onto which leather bondage cuffs are clipped. The straps are adjustable to suit any size of bed.
The whole system goes between your bed base and the mattress, with the straps reaching up around the mattress and coming to rest on top of the bed. There’s no need for any drilling into walls or permanent attachments. You can be up and running right away.
When you’re done with playing, the cuffs can be flattened and tucked back under the mattress out of sight (if using an X type).
Why buy bed restraints?
The advantages of this type of restraint over other bed bondage restraints are:
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- Versatility. They are more versatile than handcuffs. Handcuffs keep your ankles together or one arm restrained, whereas bed restraints allow you to tie all four limbs down.
- Ease of use. They are quicker to put on and remove than other restraints like handcuffs, bondage tape or rope. (By the way, you can learn the art of rope bondage for sexual play here).
- Speed of set up. No attaching things to your bed or drilling holes in your walls or headboard to attach hooks too. Everything is self-contained and they work on all types of bed. Just slip the system under your mattress and you are good to go.
- Portability. Going on holiday? Bed restraints pack small and can be carried in a rucksack or suitcase. Some also come with a convenient bag for storage when the in-laws come round and you need to hide them in a cupboard.
The two main types of mattress restraints
You’ll see under mattress restraints in two flavours – the X type and the double strap.
The X-type bed restraint
Below is an example of an X-type. This kit has four straps leading out of a single join point which goes in the middle of the bed (under the mattress). Each of the four individual straps (shown coiled in the photo) can be loosened and tightened to spread your partner’s limbs to the length your desire.
This style of restraint is a little tricky to position correctly under the bed, but it is very adjustable, and you can choose how far apart you want your partner’s limbs.
The other advantage is you can quickly slip the cuffs and straps back under the mattress once you have finished your bondage session. No need to remove everything and pack it away.
This is very handy if during a future sex session you suddenly fancy tying your partner up. Simply reach under the mattress, grab a leather cuffs and you are good to go.
The double strap type bed restraint
The double type restraint set has two sets of straps which are not connected. The top strap has attachment points for the wrist cuffs and the bottom strap for the ankle cuffs.
Advantages of this style of bed restraints are that they are easier to put on. You don’t have to lift the entire mattress, only the two ends.
But the disadvantage of this setup of the X type is you cannot adjust how wide the wrist and ankle cuffs should be. If your partner is very petite, they may be too far apart, and if they are taller, the cuffs may be too close.
The other disadvantage is it kills spontaneity. You have to remove the restraints after each play session, unlike the X type which you can slide back under the mattress. With the double strap type you physically have to remove the straps from each end of the bed and pack the whole thing away.
How to set up under bed restraints
Setting up your bed restraints is simple and takes a matter of minutes. Lift up the mattress and place the cross where all the straps join in the centre of your bed base, under the mattress.
Then lay the four straps across the bed base, running diagonally from the centre to the four corners.
Lay the mattress back on top of the restraints, being careful not to disturb them.
Now work your way around the bed, lifting up a corner of the mattress, reaching under it and pulling out the nylon strap. Place the end of the strap on top of the mattress and clip a leather bondage cuff onto it. Repeat this for all four (or two if you have a mini system) ends.
If your restraint system is a double strap type, or only has two cuffs, then you’ll have to slide the straps over the mattress and tightly secure in place.
Positioning the cuffs
You’ll need to adjust two things. The length of the straps and the position of the straps relative to the person on the bed.
Imagine someone lying on their back with their arms outstretched to their sides. Place the cuffs where their ankles would be, then tighten the straps so they cannot lift their arms. Repeat the same for the ankle cuffs.
That’s option one – both sets of restraints wrapping around the side edges of the mattress. But there are other options. You can manoeuvre the wrist restraints so they wrap around the top of the mattress, which would result in your partner’s arms being held above their head. And you can do the same for the ankle restraints two.
Or you can choose to mix and match styles.
I have a large super king matress, which means the straps for the ankle cuffs aren’t always long enough to have them wrap around the sides of the matress. So I opt for the person’s wrists to be held out to the sides, and their legs to be held down at the bottom of the matress.
How to use under the bed restraints
Now you’ve got your restraints set up, how do you use them? Well, that’s entirely up to you.
You’ve got a few different options:
- Ankles and wrists cuffed. The classic position you imagine when you think of bed restraints. The person is tied up in an X position face up, with their legs spread open and their arms stretch out wide. This is a very vulnerable and arousing position for the person being restrained, especially if they are turned on my submission.
- Ankles cuffed. Instead of tying them by hands and feet, just tie their ankles. I don’t do this often, but it does keep their legs spread for you.
- Wrists cuffed. Trying to have sex when someone’s ankles are tied down isn’t easy. Personally it feels much between when the woman bends her legs or wraps her legs around my lower back. IF you fit into this category, then keep her ankles free and only cuff her wrists. She can’t touch or play with you, which is the ultimate tease.
- Restrained face down. A highly submissive position. She can’t see what’s happening behind her, and can’t move either. It’s great for giving her a spanking, placing a vibrator under her, or anal play. Just be sure to check on her regularly as being restrained in this position is harder on the neck than the face up position.
Have a play with the different positions to see what works best for you and your partner.
Once your partner is tied down, you might want to:
- Perform oral sex.
- Tease them with a feather.
- Lightly drape a flogger over their body.
- Spank them or slap their breasts (if you are into impact play).
- Position yourself over their face and make them perform oral sex on you.
- 69 them.
- Put a collar on them.
- Draw on them.
- Drip wax on them.
- Tease them with a vibrator.
- Manually stroke their penis or clitoris.
- Do some edge play. Get them close to the point of orgasm then stop. It’ll drive them crazy.
- Penetrate them. With a dildo, your cock or a butt plug.
- Blindfold them.
- Run an ice cube up and down their body (or even inside them).
- Kiss every inch of their body.
- Spray whipped cream on them and lick it off.
- Give them a sensual massage.
- If they’re a submissive slave, use it as part of their slave training and leave them in this position for a period of time whilst you read (for safety reasons, check on them frequently and don’t leave the house).
The possibilities are endless!
(It goes without saying, but make sure you have their consent and agreed hard limits and a safe word before you start).
What to look out for when buying under the bed restraints
Don’t just pick up the first set of sex restraints you come across. There are many shops that sell them, and you don’t want to be ripped off.
There are a few differences with the different restraint systems I’ve seen on the market, so when you are ready to buy check for these features:
- Strap adjustability. The restraints are adjustable to a certain degree. You can lengthen and shorten each one. Whilst they will fit most beds, make sure the straps are adjustable and will fit your bed. For example, I have a super king sized bed with a thick mattress meaning the restraints have to be extra long.
- Style style. Do you want an X strap or two individual straps? X straps allow cuffs to be tightened to pull your partner’s legs and arms further apart, whereas two strap systems don’t allow you to adjust the position of the cuffs.
- Cuff size. If you partner has small wrists they may be able to wriggle out of the wrist cuffs easily.
- Cuff fastening. Do the cuffs fasten with velco or a buckle? Velco tends to come unstuck if pulled hard (and she will be pulling hard when she orgasms again and again!), so a buckle style cuff is preferrable, even if it takes a little longer to put on.
- Cuff attachment. Have a look at how the cuffs attach to the straps. Normally it will be a metal clip attachment to a d-ring or o-ring. Some restraint kits have the cuffs permanently attached and not removable, which you don’t want.
- Completeness of kit. Make sure you are buying a complete kit containing four leather bondage cuffs and the strap, and not just the straps. Some sellers will also do ‘BDSM kits’ which include extras such as a blindfold, ball gag and flogger. You may get a bargain if you do buy these optional extras.
- Durability & quality. What is the quality of the product. Do the straps look secure? Are the cuffs made of leather? Will the cuffs rip open if the person being tied down strains against them. A cheaper set of under the mattress restraints might not be up to standard.
Where to buy an under the mattress restraint system
I’ll leave that up to you. Walk into any sex shop and you’ll find a set, but they are normally more expensive than when bought online.
If you’re in the UK I recommend shopping at LoveHoney who have a number of different types to choose from.
Expect to pay around £40 to £60 for a decent under bed restraints (that’s around $50 – $90).
