Submissive women can often be seen in public wearing discreet BDSM collars known as a day collar. These pieces of jewellery allow their proclivities go unnoticed amongst those vanilla people on the street, whilst still reminding them of their relationship to their Master or Dom.
Look closely next time you are out and you may notice women the following types of day collar. I’ve given each category a broad kink rating, ranging from super kinky to tame.
The Leather O-Ring Day Collar
A classic leather BDSM collar, which you can use as a day collar if you’re feeling bold. 
Fingering her collar. I wonder what she’s thinking…
Kink rating: 5/5
A traditional BDSM collar with have a D-ring at the front to allow a leash to be attached. But that’s a little cumbersome for day wear! That’s where the O-ring comes in.
The O has become a symbol of BDSM due to a novel called the Story of O written in 1954. In the story a woman belongs to a secret society of slaves and wears a finger ring to signify her membership. The character in the book is called ‘O’, but some also believe the O symbol could stand for “object” or “orifice”, a symbol for any hole.
A submissive wearing a O-ring collar is therefore signifying they are an object, property of their Master for use as he pleases.
A classic O-ring day collar would made of leather and black, but doesn’t have to be. They can be purchased in a variety of colours and thicknesses.
For me personally these verve on being house collars, because they are too close to looking with animal collars not to raise a few eyebrows if you wear them in public during the day.
However I’ve included them because some of you super kinky people out there would be able to pull off the look, and may even want to be stared it. Go you!
The Fashion Choker Day Collar
She wouldn’t look out of place at a play party in this outfit. Available at DollsKill.com. 
Zebra cosplay, anyone? Available at DollsKill.com. 
Woman wearing a black choker on the street, which could be a BDSM day collar. Photo by Nicolas Postiglioni from Pexels
Kink rating: 3/5
Chokers made a come back a few years ago, and compliment a stylish outfit nicely. Although styles vary widely, those being used as day collars may feature O-rings.
Notice how they are very similar to leather collars. The only difference really is the thickness of the material (and that they aren’t leather, some are fabric), lack of additional studs, and and that the O-ring is enhanced with extra details, made to look more like a piece of jewellery.
You’d look a bit out of place wearing this type of day collar unless you have the style skills to pull it off. Get it wrong and you’ll look like a bit daft. These collars are more suitable to date nights with your Dom, fancy restaurants, nights out with the girls at a high end club, or attending London fashion week (I dream that the readership of this website falls into that demographic, but it’s not realistic, is it).
The Padlock Day Collar
Got the keys to her submission? This lovely lady is wearing an assortment of chunky jewellery, including a choker with o-ring, silver chain and padlock. 
Simple. You could make one of these yourself after a quick trip to Homebase. Just don’t lose the key.
Kink rating: 3/5
Restraints, chains and submission go hand in hand. If you’re submissive loves nothing better than being tied up then a day collar featuring a padlock could be an excellent choice.
The padlock could symbolise so many things. Her belonging to her Master. A chastity agreement between you two in your relationship. Or simply the fact that when you get home he’s going to hold you down, cuff you to the bed by your wrists and ankles, then proceed to tease you mercilessly until you are begging to be allowed to orgasm.
I’ve given this one a kink rating of three out of five, but it really does depend on the style you pick. A subtle padlock on the end of a necklace is a three, but a chunky padlock attached to a thick chain attached to a leather choker is more of a four.
Pick what you dare to wear…
The Metallic Chain O-Ring Choker
Light glints of the gold o-ring necklace as she walks through the park 
Her necks not broken. She’s just looking bratty for her Daddy. 
Subspace? Glancing out of the window in her O-ring necklace.
Kink rating: 2/5
Sticking with the theme, these chain chokers feature prominent O-rings front and centre. Because they aren’t leather and black you can easily wear them during the day without people thinking you belong to some goth, black magic, death metal cult. Plus you don’t have to have as much style as the fashion collars above to pull them off.
Your parents wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you popped round for Sunday lunch in one of these, but you could still give your Daddy a cheeky wink and when he asked you to pass the peas with a squeeze of your inner thigh under the table.
The Fabric Choker Day Collar
Kink rating: 2.5/5
“More chokers!?,” I hear you cry! Well, yes.
A thin black lace choker is a personal favourite of mine. It cries out “I want your hand around my neck, Daddy!” but in a little girl, innocent way. My god, what kind of dominant man doesn’t fantasise about that?!
I’m particularly fond of the thin black tattoo chokers. I also love them with with little pendants attached to the front. I’m not sure why – they’re just sexy.
Why have I given these a kink rating of 3, higher than metallic o-ring chokers? Because a red ribbon tied around the neck used to be a sign of prostitution, and a black ribbon in the depression era was a sign that you were a lesbian.
The String Choker
What’s she waiting for? Probably her Daddy to come home. Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash.
Kink rating: 2/5
On a budget? Get a piece of string and tie it around your neck. Done.
Just got paid? Plenty of high street fashion retailers sell string chokers.
String chokers are incredibly basic, easy to carry around in your pocket, and you don’t have to be a fashion guru to wear one. In fact, the more simpler and more casual the output, the better a string choker looks.
A string choker with pyjamas would look super cute as you lounge on the sofa with your Daddy, or with jeans and a top at a casual lunch with friends.
The O-Ring Necklace
Example of subtle necklaces featuring the O symbol of submission.
Kink rating: 1/5
A circle is also used in many jewellery items. So you could take any standard item and make it into a ‘collar’, even if it isn’t a collar in the traditional sense. It might be a necklace for example. The great news is these are very easy to buy and inconspicuous. The bad news is they may not be BDSMy enough for you and your Dom.
Personally this style doesn’t do much for me as it is so common. I mean, if your mum could wear it, it’s not that kinky is it.
Summing up
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A day collar can be discreet or explicit, tame or extreme. Bought from high street fashion retailers or dungeon BDSM shops. It’s handy to have a few different styles to choose from depending upon your mood, who you are meeting , and what type of event you are going to. Ultimately, there’s always a way you can show your submission to your master, even if you are out in public.
New to being a Dom and my sub is sending me pictures of her fingering her collar what does that mean
Hi Kevin. It may mean nothing, it may mean everything. The only way to really know is to ask your sub. Just like reading body language, you have to look at the entire context of an interaction, not just one individual action. I don’t know the context of history of your relationship and therefore cannot tell you what it means.
Hello. I’m quite new to the bdsm community but I’ve always loved myself wearing chokers.
So as a question to more experienced people, is it wrong for me to wear simple chockers, without padlocks or O rings, on my day to day wear? Does it give a wrong message for me as a sub?
It’s not wrong at all, Deena. Chokers have been fashionable for a number of years now and most people wearing them are totally unaware of what meaning they have in D/s. If you enjoy wearing it because it emphasises your submissiveness or simply make you feel good, go for it!